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Review:CambAngst says:
Wow! This chapter was tense. Up to this point, you've definitely been setting the story up. Layering in details, building up characters and setting the scene. And now something has really happened and I thought it was brilliantly done!

Krum was not at all what I was expecting. He's about as far as you can get from the stereotype of the gullible, insecure former sports hero who allows fake friends and hangers-on to lead him down the path to ruin. He had an almost sage-like quality to him, very perceptive and in touch with the things that were going on around him. He figures Rose out in a hurry, but he doesn't play up his advantage. He allows her to come to him, very gradually. If I came away from this with one conclusion about Krum, it's that his fall from grace was not the end result of a weak individual who was led astray. Whatever happened to Viktor Krum, it seems like he was a knowing participant.

The exchange between Krum and Rose was also really well done. It became a chess match of sorts, with neither one of them willing to give up their secrets too easily. Rose seems to second-guess herself a great deal, but it seemed to me like she was holding her own quite well. At least until the end, when Krum reveals the rest of his cards, so to speak.

You did a fantastic job of writing the bar fight. The tension you created was amazing. I thought you struck a great balance between giving the scene gravity and realism without making it needlessly gory. The way that you supplemented the visual and auditory details with Rose's physical reactions to what was taking place filled in the picture perfectly. There was nothing glorious or over-dramatized about it.

I don't think you could have picked a better reaction for Krum after he finishes thrashing the hooligan who insults Rose. For a brief time, he rediscovers that rush of physical competition, even if it does come in the form of a bar brawl. And his ending revelation -- that he'd already figured out why Rose was there -- was a great twist. Rose is going to have to getup pretty early in the morning to outfox Krum.

So I did notice a couple of typos as I was reading:

She remembered someone once mentioning how her Uncle Harry had meet Krum while they were both still at school, but it never occurred to Rose that Krum might have meet her parents at the same time. - met her parents

I guess now youre sure to have something interesting to vrite about in our. - did you mean to say, "in our book."?

This story really kicked into high gear with this chapter, and I enjoyed it immensely! Will be back soon for more.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, CA. I've always sort of thought of this chapter as the real start of the "action," which might be a bad sign seeing as it took six chapters to get there, but I'm glad it had that sort of feel for you too.

It's really cool to read your take on Krum so far, and I see him very much the same way. He's far from bookish, but I do think he's smart to the world around him just because he's pretty much seen it all by this point. And I really think he is his own worst enemy. What he did (and continues to do) is self-sabotage, though I think at some point, when you get that low, even strong people are vulnerable to manipulation by those around them.

I think a chess match is a good description for them here, or at least what I was trying to go for -- and something I hope sort of repeats through some of their future encounters.

Having (thankfully!) never been in a fight before, that scene was really tricky for me. But I'm so glad you thought it felt grounded. I really didn't want to give a blow-by-blow, but I also didn't want to gloss over the grittier details.

Thanks for the typo spots. I made a few quick edits the other day. I can't believe I goofed on the last line. *forehead smack* And thanks for another lovely review. I'm glad you feel the story is picking up steam.


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