|Review:||Violet Gryfindor says:|
You're developing the story excellently, and the tension between Ignotus and Dominique in this chapter was well written. They have this strange understanding between them that's unspoken and, I think for the most part, is something they don't quite understand. I don't blame her for needing time to think. Although there's much that she could safely reveal about the "Tale of the Three Brothers", she has to be careful in case she accidentally says too much. It's actually refreshing to see a main character who takes the time to sit back and think before launching into something - it lends itself perfectly to her job as an Auror. Another important point is that Ignotus doesn't press her for the answers even though he's burning to know. It's part of an intriguing dynamic between them that, alongside the plot, really make the story a success.
The last two scenes were perfectly done, with a lot of emotion, be it anger or grief, expressed in a realistic, moving way. That scene at the end... wow. You only give a snapshot of Cadmus, but you put a lot into it: the descriptions, the sadness, the foreshadowing, all fantastic. The first part of this chapter wasn't at the same level, including more telling than was necessary - there's too much plain action there (he did this, then that, then this, etc.), but you quickly made up for it in the rest of the chapter. :)
There were two other little things that stood out to me in this chapter that you might want to take a look at. Herfordshire is a county, not a village, so I don't know if it was intentional to name the village that, or if you meant the larger geographical area instead. The second was the use of the word "hunch", which didn't come into use until the 20th century, so it wouldn't be appropriate for this historical period.
Otherwise, this was another great addition to your story. I'm getting more excited about the plot and characters with each chapter I read. Beyond the canon facts, I have no idea where you're going to take this, and that makes the reading experience more fun - I love it when authors take stories in new directions and do something amazingly different. :D
Author's Response: Ahh! Susan! Thank you so much for your review! You really make my day when you come drop off wonderful things like this.
I'm really glad you're enjoying it. Truly. And thank you so much for that input. Haha, I actually had no idea about the Hertfordshire thing. I know nothing about the geographical aspects in the Europe area, especially in the 1200s. And thanks with that input on "hunch."
Thank you so much for all your help! I do find that I still come across some difficult aspects when trying to write this time period. Thanks for helping me straighten them out, and thanks for leaving the awesome review! :)