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Review:Arithmancy_Wiz says:
Hello again. Back to sneak in another quick review before the end of the month.

Another really great chapter. In fact, I thought this one was even better than the first. Right away, I liked Archibald. You really did a wonderful job of interlacing his back story in with his present actions. And I love the idea that he still has the family Slytherin traits, even if he lacks the magical abilities. The idea of working with the paranormal division is really interesting too. I love the idea of these sorts of covert fringe divisions being used during times of (or leading up to) war.

I'm not usually drawn to stories that change POV a lot, but I thought it really worked well here and imagine (even though I don't read it myself so I'm not 100% sure) it's probably a perfect fit for the genre. It gives the reader glimpses of all the moving parts and allows them to try and guess how they'll all fit together in the end.

I thought you did a great job humanizing Anastasia here. Sure, she's working for the enemy, but you can feel compassion for her given her background and her general desire just to make it out of all this alive. Duncan too really leaps off the page as a new character. I wasn't sure where the scene was headed at first, but it was great to see how it all tied back in with Archibald's brother at the end. And the Rotten Haggis?! As if haggis isn't already kind of gross.

The only thing I noticed CC-wise were a few rather lengthy sentences towards the start of the chapter. The one that starts, "He quickly rounded..." and "Judging by his stature..." in particular. They aren't run-ons really, but it is a lot of description to swallow in one gulp. Just perhaps something to look out for.

Overall, I'm defiantly intrigued. I'll try and drop by for one more chapter before the 1st if I can.

Author's Response: Thanks for another great review, and my apologies for taking far too long to respond to it.

The squibs we see in the books like Filch always seem to end up taking dead end jobs in the magical world, but I can imagine that with at least some elements of magical abilities, they could have major advantages if they chose to pursue a muggle career, and that's something I'd love to see explored some more.

Tom Clancy's books are what first got me into this genre, and he uses the switching POV technique a lot, which is probably where I learned it from. As you mentioned, it seems to be the easiest way to tie the different storylines together.

I was hoping to give Anastasia a little more depth here than the femme fatale stereotype that she probably came off as last chapter, and Duncan is a character from my other story that I wanted to find a way to use again, so hopefully he fits in well.

Thanks again for a great swap!


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