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Review:FredWeasleyIsMyKing says:
Hello!

So sorry about how late this review is! RL drives you crazy at times!

I thought this was a great little chapter; I really liked the fact you focused on the fact that they are at school and actually have to attend lessons! You also had lovely little details about each one which was really refreshing to read!

Thalia is a really great OC to read. She's strong and clever but she doesn't rub it in the other people's faces. I loved the whole beginning scene with Remus, they're actually quite cute together! The whole thing with reading Muggle books though was a really good idea for both Thalia and Sirius and it seems like his may be something to bring them together. I'm really happy they're not just screaming and shouting at each other constantly too... this way seems much more realistic. Who wouldn't swoon at the guys smile!

I did notice a few small typos and stuff so thought I would point them out for you:

'I never thought Black would have had the concentration span to read an entire book, as he never seems to have it class' - you just need in class I think.

'even reads them at school, even though he’s parents aren’t here for him to provoke' - I think he's should be his

'a pair of timid looking first year' year should be plural!

'Once he called Alice by her brother, Tom's name, who's a 3rd year now.' I don't think you need the first comma.

'I guess you could say that I am what does my fair lady require me to do now?' I think this might sound better as two sentences? A full stop after 'that' I think would work better.

'It turns he can be quite a nice guy.' I think you meant turns out.

'and I couldn't help notice that Black was smiling at me.' I think it either needs to be noticing or couldn't help but notice.

It doesn't take away from your story but you asked me to point anything I noticed out :)

By the way - is George Wood Oliver's dad?

This is a really interesting story so thank you for re-requesting it!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Haha it's fine, I know what life can be like at times, but it's usually HPFF keeping me from life:P

Yeah I thought that it can't always be fun and drama, and every few chapters or so, you need to have them at school, as otherwise it may as well be original fiction, and set in a muggle world!

Yay, you like Thalia, I'm always so worried that people might not, so I'm glad to find that you did! You're the second person who's actually send that you found her and Remus cute together, but I'm sorry to say that's not going to happen!

Yeah lots of Sirius/OC have them hating each other, but I think they can't suddenly go from hate to love, so these two are on mutual ground really, and I thought it would be interesting to add the muggle books in, as they're both purebloods, so it goes against both of their family views, so it's another thing to unite them.

Thanks for pointing out the typos/grammar errors, as much as I always look over a chapter, I always seem to miss a few, which is insanely annoying.

And yeah George is Oliver's dad, I thought it would be fun to add that in, and he's dad would have probably been a few years older than James and Lily anyway, so I figured it would fit!

Thank you for the lovely review, and I'm off to sort out those annoying errors now, Kiana :D


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