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Review:peanuts11 says:
Ok. I'm going to be honest.

I didn't totally get it until the very end.

That may be because it's Monday. After college. And I'm tired. But I also think it may be due to the fragmented story telling.

At first, it was quite disconcerting because you weren't really giving anything away in either snippet of narration but towards the, when you reveal a lot more, it all starts to fit together and is actually really, really interesting.

I don't really come across many next-gen marriage bound fics so it's definitely original.

I think if you add more description about what is going to happen or allude/foreshadow the end of the chapter, in the italics and normal writing, then it will be explicitly clear what is going to happen.

I really like the way you wrote the relationship between Amber and her father. He appears quite helpless and she's quite strong-willed and willing to do anything for her family.

That being said, I don't LOVE Amber. I like the way she interacts with her family but I think she's a bit sassy in places where she doesn't need to be and she acts first then thinks.

That being said, it is the first chapter and I'm sure she'll grow on me in chapters to come. Also, this is just personal. She's a really well written and established character with a distinctive voice, which is really hard to do in just the first chapter alone so kudos for that.

I can't wait to see how their tricky predicament pans out so update sooon :D

You story so far is amazing.

peanuts11

Author's Response: Hi! Im glad you liked it~

haha sorry bout the confusions. I am trying to make Amber different than Sapphire but it's turning out to be quiet hard so I might have gotten a bit carried away. I hope you still like Amber anyway :P

Thanks so much for the review! It made my day =)


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