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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hi, Elphaba here with your requested review! Sorry, again, for being a bit late.

I think you get off to a fantastic start. I like that your opening sentence is short and to the point, and that you then elaborate in the next paragraph.

I also like the way that you subtly establish the time period by saying that she, "hadn't been to Hogsmeade in a long time, not after she had been cursed the year before." I think it's very cool that you chose this setting for your story, and I'm interested to see how the war affects both Oliver and Katie.

Katie's alcohol problem is definitely not so subtle, but I like the way you've handled it so far. She's obviously dealing with some heavy emotional issues at the moment, and I'm curious to see what has happened to get her to this point.

When I got to the part where Katie falls into Oliver's lap, I wondered whether she harbored some latent attraction to him, or if she was just accustomed to hooking up with random people. This: "Oliver wasn't some random Muggle in some trashy Muggle club" seemed to answer my question. I like that for her it is random -- it just seems to make more sense for the state she's in -- and that you took the care to establish this in the story.

The main question I'm left with at the end of this chapter is: was Oliver attracted to her to begin with? I get the sense from the way he remembers her at Hogwarts that he has been attracted to her from the beginning.

I didn't catch any grammar, punctuation or spelling issues, and so far you've got me hooked, so great job!

Author's Response: Hiya! Sorry for the belated reply -- RL and stuff. (I seem to be saying that to a lot of reviewers lately -- ep.) And no worries, in turn, for your review being late; I'm just flattered you enjoyed it so much :)

I have a habit of beginning stories with "(Character Name) was (Verb)". I'm not sure what that says about me as a writer, lol, but I do like simplicity when writing.

The main reason I wanted to set it in Hogsmeade was because I wanted Katie to have gone to a pub since that was how she meets Oliver. But yes, I also am glad I chose Hogsmeade because of the connection of Katie being cursed and everything. Under normal circumstances, Katie probably wouldn't have wanted to go to Hogsmeade and would have no reason to, but she was drunk. Very drunk. :P

No, it's not subtle, but I'm really glad you liked how I handled it ;) that means a lot. I didn't want it to be gratuitous or a plot device, so I'm glad you thought it worked.

I think Katie probably was in the back of her mind attracted to Oliver, but yeah, it's more because she's drunk than anything :( She does have a tendency to hook up with random people, a habit that she does get out of eventually.

You've read the next chapter so I think that answers your Oliver question :)

Thank you for the review!


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