Hey it's patronus_charm with your review!
I really liked the opening of this chapter, it was great to see how Astoria gradually broke down further and further, with it culimnating in her fainting. I don't think it mentioned how she was betrayed by the game in the previous chapter, so I'm eager to see how this is developed further.
It was also nice to see, someone being rather nice to her, and that they don't all fully hate her! Hmm, but Blaise did seem rather over protective, over the fact that she was ill, maybe there's something more going on there, as he did seem rather caring with her.
This line did confuse me a little - 'Draco Malfoy watched in amazement as Blaise caught Greengrass before she fell face forward onto his Persian carpet in a rather unladylike way.' If Blaise caught her, how could she fall face forward?
They seemed to refer to Astoria being a 'breed', I don't know whether it's just me being stupid, but I don't think the explanation of what a 'breed' was, was fully covered, so maybe that could be reviewed?
It was nice to see Emily being more sisterly towards Astoria, as it shows she can be nice. And the smelling salts, perfect for their family as purebloods seems to mimick Victorian society a lot, especially with the corsets! And yay for Scorpius he's just cool enough said!
I really like Astoria's spirit, how she seems to be an individual, like how she refuses to marry for money, but for love, and she seems rather innocent, which is nice, as you then have contrast with her innocence and the darkness of the rest of the world, especially the Malfoy family! Also her hate for purebloods, I'm guessing this has something to do with her 'breed'.
Draco is currently disgusting me like he's doing to Astoria, I think it's his fascination with her, and his urge to destroy her and her family so much is why, he's currently very weird. However, I do find this very dark side of him, interesting to read, as he is very different to how he's usually portrayed.
I'm wondering what her father's business could be, is death eater related, or perhaps something totally unexpected such as selling muggle gardening equipment, either way I can't wait to find out.
I thought it was a great chapter, and plenty of darkness which is fun to read, I can't wait to find out more about the Greengrass's as they are such an interesting family! Kiana x
Author's Response: Hey, doll!
Welcome back! :) I was having a pretty boring sort of day until this lovely review and you're just the best person ever. *Hands fat kitten*
You know, with her corset being so tight and the stress, I think she was bound to faint sooner or later. And poor her, right?! In her mind, she didn't think that she would get Draco for the game, therefore, it betrayed her. Its her worst nightmare, getting a kiss from him, you know. He's just so...eerie. That's the only way to put it. :3
There's alot of things going on with Blaise but you really don't find out what it is, concerning Astoria. He's rather sly and I hope you pick up on some things about him, but underneath all that, he really is just a gentleman. It would bother him, letting a woman be bullied so badly and he might talk about it later on. I think he does. In his weird little way. :3
Oh, and that is a bit of a mistake but you faint forward. I should know this, as I've fainted more than once so Astoria fainting forward makes sense. I should have put in that Blaise turned her around so that it would make more sense. I might go and change that.
Emily is actually very loving with Astoria but she's so intent on doing what their parents tell them to do that they sometimes clash. Later on, Astoria might say something about her being more of a mother to her than their mother. I think? Hm.
And yes, Scorpy! He's great, isn't he? But not later on. >:D
"Breed" is just a term I made up for this story, regarding how purebloods see half-bloods. Dirty blood mixing with pure blood is sort of how people refer to mutts. Horrible, I know but that's where I got it from! :p
Astoria's innocence is done on purpose for this story. With the way the world was going and how dark it was, its sort of like a bit of light at the end of a dark tunnel. She gradually becomes a bit darker the more you read on, as certain events sort of drive her into a position she can't get out of.
And that was not a pun. ;)
Oh, yes. Draco will continue to freak you out and make you want to punch him. He has a slight, uhm, interest in Astoria that borders on madness, its really weird. He'll go on to talk about it later. :)
Bwhahaha! The Greengrass family does not associate with muggle gardening equipment! And nor are they Death Eaters. They're something nastier, if you can think of that but it'll be nice for you to find out. :)
I'll re-request right now then, since you liked this so much. Hope you enjoy the next chapter.