Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:patronus_charm says:
Hey it's patronus_charm with your review!

I liked how there was an air of mystery and darkness to this chapter, mainly due to your amazing description, the way you described Narcissa's dress, and the house of her mother, with spirits still surrounding it, was great and almost sent shivers down my spine!

I think the quote you chose to start the story with was great, as it showed how Narcissa was questioning her attachment to Lucius, and how at first she was sure of it, and now she was doubting it.

I'm also glad that you made Narcissa an individual person, and one of intelligence, as not many people do that, but I feel that's a more accurate portrayal of her, and I really enjoyed it. I especially loved that you made her love books, as I felt that was a really accurate characteristic to give her.

I also felt the way you described Lucius's spilt in affections for her and the dark lord was great, as that's how I imagined it to be, as I did feel when reading the books, that Narcissa did seem a bit neglected by her husband, so I was glad to see that you incorporated that into the story.

I didn't think it was too vague for a first chapter, in fact I thought it was a perfect one, as it introduced the plot, and developed Narcissa's character so you could have a sense of her, and the length was great to, because I think if it was any longer you may lose interest, and having it shorter wouldn't cover enough!

I noticed a few places where some comma's could be added in, just so you don't have to mentally hold your breath, but that was a minor thing really!

Overall I really enjoyed this first chapter, as you really got a sense for the story, and the characters were perfect, feel free to re-request as I'm interested to see how Naricissa develops, as she is rather different to how I usually see her, and I really like this change! Kiana :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 186
Submit Report: