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Review:In The Shadows I Dwell says:
I'm here with your review from the 'Review the Above' topic. Alright let me start by saying once I saw the title (I read a lot of Shakespeare!) I couldn't resist reading this story, particularly after reading the summary, I love the imagery in the line you chose for it - and in particular how it relates so perfectly to the title which really gives the reader an excellent idea as to the sort of romance they'll find in this story before even beginning.

I love how you've split the story into two parts, with their meeting some time before they run into each other again, and in some ways it left me wondering whether she would meet the boy from the bookstore with his beautiful magic again, and I'm glad she did meet him again! Their relationship was interesting from the beginning and intriguing so it will be interesting to see how it develops particularly after that ending! (I also love your decision to place him in the Department of Mysteries, I see so few characters in stories working there!)

I noticed a couple of little things that I'll quickly mention, I think you need to make the separation between the past and the present a little more clear, I was slightly confused by the sudden jump despite the line separating them, perhaps a '4 years later' or something similar could help with this as for a while I believed she'd gone straight from the store to the Ministry. The only other thing I noticed was a small issue with tense in this line: The staff was completely negligent - 'was' should be 'were' as the rest of the paragraph was in the past tense, but aside from that the writing was lovely and I really noticed no other issues with grammar or spelling.

I really loved how you've chosen to open this story, while their attraction was obvious from the beginning how you've chosen to write this was really surprising and well done! When I get the time I'll come back to find out how what happens in the rest of the story because from this first chapter I can see it's going to be interesting.


Author's Response: Thank you! :) I wrote this a while ago and I think I'd like to do an edit soon. I'll definitely keep your comments in mind!

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