|Review:||Gabriella Hunter says:|
Hey there, its Gabbie with your requested review and its good to be reading something else of yours, I was wondering where you went. :3
So, the little bit with her information at the beginning, including her blood status and such was pretty different. Will that be how you introduce your characters in the future?
Marcia's little bit about how much of an outcast she was made me a little worried and sad for her. She could be on my team, as I suck at sports too and was never the one people called on either (Even though I'm pretty tall). With the way you wrote it, it sort of reminded me of what had happened with Harry and how he described his own life before Hogwarts and I liked the similarities.
She and her mother seem to be living sort of an ordinary life without many surprises so her Hogwarts letter came as a shock. I think I could have used a bit more reaction from her mother but I think she sort of suspected this, given how she reacted to Marcia asking questions about her dad.
So suspicious about that. Maybe you'll say something about that later? I saw half-blood up there on her description and I'd like some anwers on that, I'm all for family drama. :D
I liked the description of Neville too and how she kept calling his robe a "cape" and such, it was just how I'd react to that. Though, I probably would have thought he was wearing a really pretty dress and would have politely asked why. Hahahaa.
To make this flow even better, just a few more details about the home, Marcia and her mother and their daily routine would make it perfect and a tad longer. I think I spotted two grammar things in here but otherwise, I think you should just add in a few periods and you're all set. :D
So, I'm hoping your time jump works out all right! This was a good way to start off your story so keep going, take your time and have fun. I mean, that's what's great about writing anyway! :D
So, thanks for the read!
Author's Response: Heya!
Haha, if I ever disappear, it will probably just be because I'm rushing to write something else for you to review - I really do love your reviews :P
And yes, I had them all written out anyway, so I thought I'd add them in, make it a sort of thing for each chapter. Obviously in later chapters I'll either have to introduce new characters or use minor characters. I have a list of her whole year anyway - a bit overdone I know, but I've been ill for three days with nothing else to do except create numerous OC's ;) - but int future, they'll mostly be introduced like that, or they may be introduced beforehand, but there will still be an info bit on them in the next few chaps :)
I sort of imagine most magical children that grow up in a muggle environment are outcasts, in the way that they are very different, but nobody can quite explain how :3 And plus, y'know, I wouldn't want my MC to be cool or anything, that just wouldn't be fun ;)
I might have to add a bit to her mum's reaction, I just wasn't sure how to write it. Although, Marcia's mum doesn't actually know that much about her dad, which is one of the reasons she never talks about him. I feel that if I tell you the other reasons it might ruin the moment later on... :P Ooh, I shall definitely have to add some family drama in then, shan't I? Hehe, :3
Haha, yes, I did think that if she knew to call it a robe then she would have been living an awfully weird life anyway, and cape(or a pretty dress in some cases) seemed a lot more likely :D
I'm working on the time jump as we speak, I've only just realised that September 1, 2022 is exactly six and a half years later. Oddly. And details shall be incorporated!
Thanks for the review!
- Em :D