|Review:||Courtney Dark says:|
Hello again! Thanks for re-requesting:)
Oh my goodness, what a beautiful story this was! You honestly wrote every single part of it so perfectly-Molly's emotions felt so raw and so real and her characterization was so perfect. You have a lovely style of writing which instantly hooks me in, and I think I'm going to have to go and read some more of your stuff now!
I thought you began this one-shot very well, because I instantly found myself in the scene that you had described and feeling all that Molly felt. The first sentence: 'The room smelled like Mrs. Skower’s, only it was overpoweringly repulsive, able to cover up the thick hospital odor only to linger as a ceaseless reminder that it had been needed' was especially well written because whenever I think of hospitals or illness, I always think of that horribly chemically, much too clean smell and your writing brought back a whole lot of memories. The line 'The familiar warmth of her husband, lighting up all her years, had evaporated' was also perfect because not only did it take me back to the books and remind me of how kind and friendly Arthur always was, but it gave me a sense of both the time this one-shot is set in and of loss, which I think is an important factor in this story.
I really liked the little details you added in, that made everything more believable and also made Molly's character more realistic and real. I liked that you talked about Molly's grandchildren-such as Louis gifting her the house elf and the thought of Rose and Lily and Victoire in the house, sharing secrets, as it really gave me overpowering feelings sadness, reflection and moving forward. I also thought the sentence 'Molly had asked Bill about it, who reported that he was finally getting a son and saw no reason to quarrel with his part-Veela wife, especially in the middle of pregnancy' was very fitting, and a nice touch to a very emotional story.
Overall, I honestly think you ticked all the right boxes with this piece, and I hope you do well in the challenge! The ending was absolutely perfect and the mention of Arthur being transported via Muggle means to his deathbed was sweet, while being extremely sad. Thank you so much for giving me the chance to read this.
Author's Response: Hi Courtney, I'm happy to see you again :)
I'm so glad you liked the writing style and the emotion. Obviously, for the sake of the challenge, it's very important that the emotion comes through and feels tangible to the reader. I do hope you check out more of my work; I'd love to hear more of your thoughts!
From the few times I have visited hospitals, I remember that the too-clean smell always sticks with me. It always feels like its own reminder that there was death and pain there. It's great that the imagery works for you and that you felt the connection between poor Molly and her husband.
I think the Weasleys have such a rich legacy; what the Malfoys have in money, the Weasleys have in memories. There are happy ones, like the pregnant girls and the grandchildren and the funny highlights of Quidditch games, and then there are sad ones, like the endless echo of Fred's death. I really wanted those memories and feelings to shine here, even more so than Molly herself.
I couldn't help it with the Muggle car. I thought Arthur would love it, had he been lucid. At least Molly saw the irony in it, right?
Thanks so much for this wonderful review :)