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Review:Gabriella Hunter says:
Hello!

Hey, you! Its Gabbie here with your requested review. Poor Draco. I feel as though he's suffocating a ltitle under all the pressure his mother is giving him and he has my sympathies. What I find really interesting is that you tossed your Draco into the Magical Law Department like I did mine! Weird mind meld, I believe? Hehehe. I liked that you made him go out and try and make a name for himself, despite him actually being very disliked. The fact that he's trying to move forward on his own, while, still getting an allowance made me sort of proud of him. A little. Hahha. I was really surprised to see Andromeda in this, as her and Narcissa making up isn't really covered in fanfiction. It was a nice change, though I would have liked more interaction between them so I could see if there was an awkwardness still between them. As for Teddy, who would have thought your Draco loves kids as much as mine does? Hm. More mind melds...
But anyway, I'm glad that you have him interacting with Teddy. That's something else you don't see in fanfiction very often, its sort of hard to remember that Teddy is, actually related to him. :D
So, Astoria. Good, God. I feel so sorry for Draco! She seems to be clinging onto him for dear life and it makes me sort of flinch a little. I liked that you made Daphne different though, she sort of reminded me of Luna Lovegood. I'm pretty sure her parents didn't like her having her own mind and I'd like to see some future tension between her and her sister, perhaps revealing more depth to Astoria? If there is any! Hahahaha. Perhaps she doesn't really love Draco and is only pretending? Hm. So many thoughts on that! :3
Draco's conversation with his mother about marriage was both funny and cringe worthy. I can't really imagine him talking to his mother the way he does but given his mood, I can forgive him. The brief insight into his parent's marriage made me wince in sympathy for her though. :(
And that dinner was incredibly awkward.
Which was great for me to read! :D
As for CC's! I think your pacing was good, though with some sentences you might want to give them a few periods and breaks. I think that's all I noticed, I didn't see any grammar things so good job! Write more! :D
Perhaps I'll request you to read more stuff from me? Hm.what to make you read next.?
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie, thanks again for another woderful review!

Yeah even thought the war has ended, I didn't want Narcissa to completely change, and I've always imagined her as sort of a controlling and over-protective mother, so that's the reason for the suffocation. Yeah it took me ages to find the right job for him, because though loads of people make him an auror I just didn't feel that suited him, and lets be honest his not nice or sympathetic enough to be a healer, so I just though him being a lawyer would work well! I thought he would want to try and change the name, and strolling around the house would get boring after a while so he needs a job. Wow, we must have twin minds when thinking of Draco!
I assumed that Andromeda and Narcissa would reunite, as with Lucius now gone, I felt that the key cause of her muggle prejudice would now be gone, so she can be reunited with her sister again! Yeah I should have put more scenes of them together in, I'll make sure that I remember that in the future. Yay, Teddy he's so cute, and I wanted to show that Draco can be nice to some people. I wonder what Tonks and Lupin would say if they knew they were such good friends though?
Hmm Astoria, I still need to decide to make her as shallow as she appears, or whether to give her some more hidden depths, I think I'll probably give her depth as then she's a more interesting character;)
Yeah Luna did inspire me when writing Daphne, as I wanted to show lots of people did show prejudice towards Luna and Slytherin's, when in fact they are both remarkably similar, and would be good friends if they ever got the chance to meet each other. Daphne and her parents will definitel feature more, however I think they will remain fairly minor characters, so I'm not sure how in detail I will go in their relationship.
I'll look over the chapter again, and add in some comma's so you don't have to mentally run out of breath! I will write some more soon, and thanks again for the lovely review (sorry this response was so long!) Kiana x




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