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Review:adluvshp says:
Hello! Here for your requested review! Since you asked for general comments, and no specific concerns, I wont go into extreme detail.

Coming to the chapter, this was definitely a well-written piece. It seems like a good beginning of the story. You have introduced your main characters and highlighted certain aspects about them relevant to the plot, fairly well.

I like how you've crafted Fee, she seems to be a complex character. I liked her little "speech" on marriage, and on the kind of man she wants, which showed a lot about her.

I would have liked more insight into her and Alphard's relationship though, maybe put in an interaction that actually showed the depth of their friendship, rather than merely stating that they were best friends. Of course, you can develop this into later chapters too, but a small interaction (maybe elaborate the teasing a little bit or something) in the opening chapter would have been nice.

I liked how you showed Walburga and Fee's friendship though, their interactions seemed sufficient to show their friendship :)

I am also looking forward to more of Tom and Fee and see where their relationship is headed and what actually is going on. If you had mentioned him a little more, it would have been nicer.
However, if you did that intentionally to maintain more suspense then let it be =)

The over all tone of your narrative, and of your characters is quite nicely captured too, it does seem like 1945, and like Purebloods talking. The grammar seemed okay too.

The over all pace and flow of the chapter was good too, and it seemed to set an interesting stage for the rest of the story, especially the little bits you inserted about Tom Riddle.

You asked about the summary, so I'd say that since this is the first chapter, I cant really tell whether it totally fits in with the story or not, but so far it looks good. I actually really like it since it is so intriguing =)

All in all, good work! I dont have much CC to give you apart from the little I said about Alphard and Fee.

I do hope you weren't disappointed with the review, as I tried to talk about all I could think of, but since you didn't give me any specific concerns to focus on, I couldn't really be very helpful.

Anyway, this was a pleasant chapter. Good work!

9/10

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for stopping by to review! :)

Thank you so much! I'm really glad that you thought that I introduced my characters well!

Fee is definitely a complex character! She's very outspoken in private surroundings, yet conceals her true feelings publicly, and I'm having fun writing her!

I understand your point about Alphard, but I didn't want to overwhelm the reader with information in the first chapter, especially as I do develop their relationship further over the course of the story.

Walburga and Fee obviously take centre stage in this chapter, as it's Walburga's wedding day!

Tom wasn't mentioned much in this chapter, simply because he wouldn't have been close enough to Orion to be a best man, and obviously he wouldn't be present around Walburga, so he and Fee don't get the chance to interact until they meet at the church.

Thank you! I was a little concerned about the 1945 aspect, as there is a war in the Muggle world, so it's good to hear that you considered this chapter to fit the time period.

I'm happy that you considered the pace and flow of the chapter to be good too. :)

Ahh, that's brilliant! My last one didn't explain much about the story overall, just the beginning, so it's good that it's intriguing! Hopefully the summary will attract more readers!

Thank you very much for reviewing, and for trying to point out as much as you could. I'll try and pick out something to focus on next time, but the good thing is there were no glaring errors that caught your attention! XD

-Katie

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