Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Aphoride says:
Hey there, I've just popped over for the exchange on TGS! First off, I have to say that I love the whole premise of this story. Creating an equation she believes can predict love is such a canon-Lily-Evans-esque thing to do, you know? It fits in so well with what we know of her personality. Plus, it's an original idea and an unique way to go about getting James and Lily together - the idea that it was all because of a bet and an equation scribbled on a piece of parchment.

I love your characterisation of Lily and her friends as well. Although I'm really not a fan of having her be schoolfriends with Alice (and thereby Frank by association) simply because I don't think they would have been in the same year - or relatively close until they were both in the Order - that doesn't really matter that much simply because you've created her friends so easily and they seem pretty realistic, which is always so great to see. I'm really looking forward to see how you develop both girls, though - there are quite a few 'stock friends for Lily', if you know what I mean, in fanfiction and since you've started with such a wonderful idea, I'm curious to see if you're going to go down a similar vein with her friends and make them your own as well. I hope so, it would really bring this story completely into its own and make it brilliant.

The only thing I could find was that there were a couple place where you had left out a couple of spaces between words and punctuations and such things. It didn't throw the pace or anything of this off, but it might be something to think about if you go through and edit this.

The whole science-is-foreign-to-wizards inclusion was lovely, as well. It's so true that even to someone like Sirius or Arthur Weasley the idea of things like Chemistry and Physics would be completely alien to them. That being said, I'm not too sure that Maths would be completely alien, since there is mention in the books about equations and suchlike things being taught, and you don't make it completely clear whether or not they do know what Maths is - I was a bit confused about that point.

Anyway, honestly, they were just little things which I picked up on. The premise of this is so good - really, it's amazing - and I'm so curious as to what is going to happen further down the line, particularly when James and the Marauders get involved. I'm guessing not a smooth ride, yes? No? Don't tell me! :)

Aph xx

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 409
Submit Report: