Wow, you amaze me so much with your fantastic stories! Seriously, how do you come up with these ideas? I thought it was very very orginal idea to have Audrey and Percy meet this way!
I loved the way you started the story: 'They were the eyes of a dead man.' This sentence alone was enough to get me hooked. You continued to keep me interested though with how you then continued. Hmm so Audrey is a muggle! And an exotic dancing one at that. I can't wait to see how her and Percy ultimately get together in this! Percy and a stripper... who'd have thunk it?
Oh George! Sorry I can't help but mention him. I love the way you write him, I find it so funny and cute and loveable. 'Angie is pregnant and mean and will beat me up and not in a good way?' Hilarious!
So... Percy is actually quite dirty. I think I actually gasped a few times at some of his lines as I was like 'Percy Weasley - you do not say stuff like that' but the more I read it, the more I quite enjoyed it A whole new side to Percy. It's definitely a lot more fun that the Percy we see in the books!
I really took to your Audrey, she was fun and very determined. She might not be exactly where she wants right now but she certainly knows where she wants to be heading. I quite liked how she was so captivated by him, although I must admit I had a bit of a hard time believeing she would hang around after he threw so many insults her way (and he called her rude... pot and kettle anyone?) I guess she would have become used to it though with her line of work. She's a stronger person that me, I don't think I could have hung around!
So, these two people are completely different and yet kind of not. In this chapter Audrey came across as very driven and goes for what she wants no matter the concequences. Kind of like Percy Weasley no? I hope that was your intention as I liked how different but similar they were. I think you've set yourself up well and I can't wait to see how these pair finally get together!
A couple of things I noticed that weren't quite British and wasn't sure if you'd want to edit? High school in England is called secondary school or comprehensive school (comp for short) and I think you might have meant university rather than college? You don't have to pay to go to college but you would need to eat etc so you could get away with that one! At 21 though, she would be at university.
This is a great chapter though and I look forward to reading more! I love how all your stories interlink and you have the same ships and things happening in each, you just focus on a different set of characters. As a reader it makes them all the more enjoyable to know I can go and find out more stuff from your other stories!
Oh - and I didn't really notice and excessive use of panties but you certainly weren't shy about the language you used. It fit with the story though!
Author's Response: Hello!
Welcome to my toughest story to write next to A Force of Wills! Whoo! Thanks for coming onto this so quickly, it means alot and you're such a great person! *Blush*
You know, I'd had this ideas for Audrey and Percy for a long time but I didn't think I could actually write it but a favorite reviewer of mine asked me to write a story for her and I thought, "Now's my chance!" and went with it. It has been an interesting ride! :D
Strange how "eyes of a dead man" can get you to wonder what's going on with Percy isn't it? Not quite how you'd picture him! And yep, Audrey's a Muggle and yep, she dances naughtily! I thought that would be such a good contrast to say, her being a witch working in the Ministry. More fun for me and you guys. :3
Bwhah, George! He and Angie are doing pretty good right now! Though at this time, I had made a mistake with Angie's pregnancy because he doesn't find out until later, it still worked out pretty good. Hahahah. He's just so hilarious. :3
Ooh, thanks so much for liking Audrey, she was such a different character to write for. Angelina and Astoria are so different too but she's very hard because she's from the Muggle world and has it alot worse than they do. (Well, maybe not Astoria but...)
I had to make her determined to get what she wanted, she's not the sort to give up, which would probably explain why she would want to hang around Percy. His rudeness was only something she found amusing and she's sort of strange that way, she must poke and prod at things she shouldn't. :D
Oh, yes, Percy is sort of naughty. If you read on, you'll only go, "Where'd this monster come from?!" hahahha. I had so much fun toying with that and Audrey finds it really fascinating when he looks so straight laced and boring. ;)
I'm glad that you caught onto their similarities! Audrey is actually alot like Percy in her own way and I think that might just be the thing, and the fact that she's different for him, that will bring them together. By chapter three or so, you'll just have to wait on them to snog. Hahahahhaa.
ARGH! I'm American, forgive my horrid American ways! I might go back and edit those little things though, I look back on it now and go, "Crap. I'm so wrong!" some other people have pointed that out to me. Why do you guys call high school secondary? Curious. Anyhoo, onward!
Ooh, yes, all my stories sort of go together! I'll actually help you out with following along!
This is Angelina and This is Audrey Tang
Abandon and A Force of Wills
A Force of Wills and Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince
This is Angelina and Memories
Its fun for you guys to hop onto any one of these and go, "Ha! I heard about that from one of her other stories!" and plus, its just fun for me to write. :3
Hahaha, panties! Its my calling card. You'll know one of my stories by the use of panties throughout the story, hahahaha. Its actually pretty silly. :D
Thanks for this, you're too awesome!
Much love of course,