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Review:CharliesRose says:
heya, so your story caught my eye and I thought I should read it, which was a good idea because it's a really good start to a story, honestly I really enjoyed it; the beginning chapter is a good introduction and I'm sure it will get even better over time.
Just a few tips; firstly maybe you need to explain Al and Charlottes relationship a little more obviously because I was a little confused to begin with... at first I thought they were cousins because Albus also called the granny, granny... I get that they're friends now but you need to make it a little clearer I think. Also I think the girl would be a little more severely hurt if a car hit her, so if you want to make it a little more realistic maybe you could say she swerved and hit a tree? I don't know it's up to you; you could leave it if you want.
Anyways other than that I think this is a great story so keep it up and Happy Writing.
~Char

Author's Response: Hey there!
Thank you so much for this really helpful review. I think I will go back and explain that Granny is just that type of person where everybody thinks of her as their own grandma. Even Ginny calls her Granny. Also, when she hits the car it was parked so that's why she didn't have any serious injuries. Maybe i'll go back and make that more clear. I'm really glad you decided to click on my story and I'd love to hear what you think about the other chapters!
Thanks again,
Avis12


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