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Review:fauxthefox says:
Hi! This is Faux from the forums with your requested review. I have a few comments for you:

Format: Okay, the spacing is kind of getting me down. It's not an enormously important thing, but it definitely looks nice to have even spacing.

Writing style/grammar: Your OC has a strong voice that's overshadowed a bit by some of the spelling and grammar errors. You might want to consider finding a beta to help you get those guys out of there. Your style is very informal, which isn't a bad thing, but I think that this kind of style makes it all to easy for some authors to fall into the trap of Mary Sue-ism.

Characterization/Plot: I don't have a clear idea of your OC's personality - or at least, I haven't seen anything that sets her apart from the average hpff OC. I think it would be great if you could give her some more depth, quirks, flaws, etc, to make her resemble a real human being. The whole arranged marriage thing is also a bit cliche, so I think it would be great if you could add some more unique twists and turns to make the story your own.

Not a bad start!
Faux

Author's Response: hi! thank you for doing this!

ya I tried to fix the format it doesn't rele work at the moment lol

o!! thank you! i will keep tht in mind! dont want a mary sue... though I never did really introduce the characters so I guess that's why it seems so off at the moment.

yes sirey! i have those all planned i just never really got around to putting them in. they will be in the next chp!

thank you! this was rele helpful!


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