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Review:AlexFan says:
Okay, so I'm here for your requested review, I'm finally getting around to it.

What I like is the fact that Eden gets along with her family even though her parents are divorced. Usually the character never likes her step-parents (and it gets a little bit cliche).

That being said, why does Eden hate Danielle, as far as I know, Danielle hasn't done anything wrong besides marry her dad. That would definitely be something that you could explain in later chapters so that the reader can get to know the main character better.

"To both be abstinence in fifth year," I don't think 'abstinence' is the correct word to be used in that sentence. I get that they're referring to the fact that Eden and Jade would stay single together and not date and I totally get that but abstinence isn't the word to use for a situation like that.

"Everyone laughed, except for Lucas, he shot me a deathly glare." I'm not sure if 'deathly' is a word but either way, it doesn't go with the sentence. I'd suggest changing it to "death glare" but that's just a suggestion, you don't have to take it from me.

"It's like THEIR trying to scar their kids," you used the wrong version of there/they're/their the first time. The correct version would've been "they're" so that it reads "it's like they're trying to scar their kids."

"With an incredibly amount of effort," the word incredibly doesn't fit in that sentence. You can add the word 'large' so that it reads "an incredibly large amount" or change incredibly to 'incredible'.

I know, I know, I'm being very specific and nitpicky but I can't help myself so bear with me.

"Hogwarts, Hogwarts he we come," you forgot the 're' in 'here'.

The part where they arrive on Platform 9 and 3/4 and you said that there were lots of people crying and laughing and then you listed all the different types of people. It wasn't necessary to list the different types of people because it sounds like you're saying that they're an entire different species of people.

The half-French, half-Italian fact came out of nowhere so that was a real surprise.

Last thing, I promise, you sometimes switch verb tenses and it can confuse a reader so you might want to keep a look out for that.

I liked the fact that Eden and James were friends, close friends, a lot of the times James is the enemy or something like that but there's very few times when James is the main character's close friend.

Anyway, you have no punctuation errors as far as I can tell but there are a few grammatical errors that I would suggest fixing. It's not a bad start to a story however.

Author's Response: Hello AlexFan!

Thank you so much for the critism and the correcting of all the errors I made. I skipped over it when I re-read it. But then again, I only read over it once, so that would explain it.

I've checked over the errors and made the necessary changes you suggested.

Thanks again for the critism, I'll be sure to request you next time for the next chapter. Hopefully you can help me with grammatical erros there too!

Thanks again xo

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