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Review:EnigmaticEyes16 says:
Hi! I'm here to complete our review swap!

Hmm. I have to say this is an interesting start. I'm sorry that I haven't returned sooner to continue this story. I really like the historical bits, this definitely reminded me a lot of the Tudors, especially with names such as Norfolk and Suffolk. It also reminds me of Cinderella, not the cartoon, the Rodgers & Hammerstein one with the mother pushing for her son to marry.

I thought the flow of story worked out nicely. Once I got past the first few paragraphs, I was able to read it quite easily. I really like your attention to detail with the jewels.

Although it did seem kind of weird that with all these workers preparing for a party, that Salazar just walked in and helped himself to some food. It seemed unusual that there wasn't a servant or house elf to greet him and offer him food if he wanted some.

I also thought that Venn gave in a little too quickly when Salazar told him of Helena. Since he was so opposed to marriage and didn't seem to care about any of the other beautiful girls in the kingdom, I thought he'd be a bit more annoyed at the mention of another girl, even if she is the fairest of them all. I don't feel like that would really change his opinion of what he wanted right now. I thought it would have made more sense if he had rolled his eyes and refused to meet her, and then maybe Salazar and Edeline would arrange some "chance" meeting between the two. But that's just me. I am curious to read on though.

All in all I thought this was really well written and I really noticed your attention to detail about that period in history, especially the formality of the characters and the way they speak to each other and bring up certain topics.

You'll probably be hearing from me again soon because I do plan to come back and read more of this. Thanks for the swap.


Author's Response: Hey there, thank you again for the swap :)

It's great that you liked the names I chose and felt like the setting was era-appropriate. I'm also pleased that the flow here was good.

Well, Salazar is Edeline's brother, so he likely stops in for visits on a fairly regular basis. When my close friends and family members come by, they're welcome to grab something out of the fridge, and I sort of felt like he would be the same way in this household. If a true guest came in, I agree that he or she would likely expect to be served properly. The servants were also busy preparing for the feast. I can see how it might seem a little weird given the formality of the period, though.

If you read on, you'll see that Venn's impulsive tendencies are a big part of his personality. I tried to thread that through the plot so that his final actions in canon make sense in terms of his characterization. The way I see it, at this point in the story, Venn sees Helena as a means to an end--his father's crown. He also knows that his mother will drive him crazy if he refuses to meet her. So I saw it more as him being willing to see whether this girl really measures up to how she is described, and if not, he's still not really obligated to make a commitment to her. If she is, well, maybe she'll turn out to be useful. Do you see what I mean? I just don't know if it would be realistic for a young noble to flat-out refuse marriage during this era. I'm glad you're still curious to get to know Venn.

I really appreciate your lovely review!


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