|Review:||Roots in Water says:|
It's Roots in Water here with your review! Wow- it's been a little while since I read chapter 9... Where did 2012 go?
Anyway, I think that you did a lovely job once again! To jump straight into your questions, I think that you did a great job with your description of the prefect's meeting. The reactions of the Prefects worked wonderfully with their age and their exposure to the war; this was, after all, their first taste of danger that was close at hand. Frank's reaction about the doubts was perfectly reasonable as well- I doubt that I could be any calmer when faced with questioning about the truth of such a horrible experience. I also liked how you arranged for the Prefects to wander the halls in case anyone needed to talk or ask questions.
I do have a question for myself: in this chapter you mentioned that James and Lily represented Gryffindor- what does that mean for Remus? Are there no Gryffindor prefects? Or did I just misread/misinterpret that section?
I really enjoyed Lily's dream. It was fascinating to see little hints of the way Petunia would treat her nephew in the future- if it was in her to hurt a kitty when she was that old, it's not too big of a stretch for her to neglect her sister's child because he was "not normal". It was also interesting to see that she didn't completely hate magic at that point in time, though that could only have been because she needed it to fix something.
One of the things I liked best about that section was how it didn't portray the Evans' family as completely perfect. There were fights, but they are happy as a whole and that's what matters.
As well, I think that you did a fantastic job of transitioning slowly into a more serious tone. This chapter did a good job of expanding on the meaning/consequences of the attack revealed in the last chapter, trying to impress upon the students just how dangerous and difficult this time period will be.
Moody is tricky character to write, isn't he? I think that you did a good job with his portrayal- he certainly had his authoritative manner. However, as great as your portrayal already is, I do have a few suggestions. :) First of all, (though this could be a creation of my own mind), I've pictured him speaking in a gruffer, more threatening and informal manner. Though I loved the "insults" and tough tone you've already used here, I would love to see more of it sprinkled throughout his speech. As well, I would love to see more physical description as he speaks- he has such a large physical presence that I find that it's one of the most fun parts to write when I write him. As he speaks, how does he look at the class? Does he glare? Does he slam his hand on the desk for emphasis? Does he stride about the classroom, getting into people's faces? Does he watch the interaction between Alice and Rosier with a smile?
All in all, I really enjoyed this chapter and I think that you did a fantastic job of moving the plot along. I'm really interested to see the changes in the characters after this meeting with Moody- I have a feeling it will leave a strong impression on them. Thanks for requesting a review and I hope that my comments are helpful!
Author's Response: Hi darling!! I'm so happy to see you back here! Not like I gave you much of a choice to do anything else.. mwhaha. Dan and I were joking about how terrible we are, snapping up your slots the second your queue is cleared.
I'm so happy that the Prefects meeting felt realistic to you. So, I decided that Head Boy and Girl would bascially replace the 7th year prefects for their House. So if Lily was a Ravenclaw, there wouldn't be a girl Prefect for the 7th year Ravenclaw. I felt kind of bad for booting Remus out, but I imagine that he understood that Dumbledore needed to get James to grow up a bit, and giving him more responsibility was the way to do that.
I'm so happy you picked up on those hints of Petunia's future cruelty!! It's just something small right now, but like you said, an indicator of what she can become.
The Evans family memories are so much fun to write. And that's exactly what I want to show, that they were happy as a whole. I don't like when it's made to seem that they were completely negligent of Petunia, just because it doesn't make sense. If they're going to support their daughter who found out she was a witch, why wouldn't they be good enough parents to love their other daughter as well? I definitely think it was Petunia's own thoughts that made her feel like she was the least loved, and she just doesn't let herself understand anything she doesn't agree with.
I was afraid of going overboard with gruffness, so I'm happy to hear (or read, I suppose) that he could use a bit more. I'll definitely go back through this section and see what else I can add in to bring his presence out more without overdoing him.. thank you! ♥
Your comments are always helpful! Thank you again so much for being such an awesome review ♥ You have no idea how excited i was to see your slots open back up, haha!