Hey, I'm back with part 2 of your review!
Given that this line 'rough pad of his thumb caress the soft line of her jaw' implies that there probably was more than just friendship going on between the two, I can assume correctly, right?
Typical Percy offering a hand to start a friendship. He never seem to have got the concept of a friend did he? I almost feel sorry for him, the way he conducted friends like he conducted a ministry deal!
Draco's intriguing me in this chapter you mention that he used to pretend to be nice, and I could see that in the flashblack, but as a Malfoy and a Slytherin he must have had ulterior motives. I can't wait to find out more about this!
Ben is an interesting character, I'm wondering why Draco adopted him, so I hope that's explained later on. Just a quick question is Scorpius not in the story? Please say he is, as he is pretty awesome. One thing on Ben, it would be nice to see he has at least one nice trait, otherwise I would seriously question why someone as lovely as Roxanne is friends with him!
Dom-Dom is also an intersting character(you have a lot of them!), the fact she seems rather shy is rather different to fan fiction, but I'm eager to see why. Also to see why she stutters.
Overall I thought this was another great chapter, as you've introduced some awesome characters and I'm eager to see how they progess. I also love it's from Roxanne's persepective as that's a rather unexplored one. Feel free to re-request as I've loved all of what you've written so far, Kiana :)x
Author's Response: Hello!
Welcome back! Thanks for your first lovely review, it really made my day. :3
There was a tad more going on between Roxanne and Ben but its more based on what neither of them will admit to. Slight sexual tension that might prove to ruin them both actually but that's for later! ;)
Oh, Percy. I adore him and I know what you mean, I feel sort of sorry for him now that I think about how his life at Hogwarts might have been.
Draco actually isn't the villain in this story but he does have alot of secrets. You'll just have to wait and see what they are, now won't you? :3
I explain why Ben was adopted later on in greater detail, its something that actually shadows his whole character. Draco's had him since he was a baby so it wasn't a recent thing, he's all he knows.
Oh, Scorpius Malfoy is only ten years old in this story! He's in my other story, "Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince" so it'd be weird if he and Roxanne were hooking up. Right? Hahahaha.
Ben isn't quite a likeable character but he has SOME redeeming qualalities and I hope you can sense them. He's not so bad. All the time. I think.
Oh, Dom-Dom! People really seem to like her, don't they? I might go into more detail about her and her stutter later. I'd wanted to do another story with her sometime down the line but I might do it sooner.
Thanks for coming back, I totally just re-requested and hope that you enjoy the next few chapters. But feel free to come back whenever you want, I always like talking to new people and such! Or else, I'll see you on the forums! ;)