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Review:Gabriella Hunter says:
Hello!

Its Gabbie here with your requested review! *Throws around confetti* I'm really glad that I decided to read this story from the beginning, I'd wanted to get into your characters a tad more. Thalia's opening few paragraphs were actually alot sadder than I thought they would be but from what I could gather from what I've read, her home life isn't all that great. I hope you go into more detail on what happened to her father, other than him losing his life, I'm not sure why I want to know these sort of details but I could tell that this is a memory that really defines her. You banished the slight sadness with those chapters by re-introducing Sirius and James! And ah, how embarrassing to wind up on top of Sirius by accident! Argh! I think that it was funny, but I would have liked more of a reaction from Sirius, other than him being cocky (No pun intended). What if Thalia had landed onto his man parts and made him embarrassed instead? I think that would have made it a tad more realistic and put Sirius into a light where he's not just this super amazing hunky stud that isn't interested in me. *Ahem*
Anyhoo! I liked the descriptions that you gave her friends, they all seem pretty diverse and I'm eager to see a bit more about them. Lily's Prefect and I might have wanted a tad more on her since she and Thalia were best friends but you've got later for that. ;)
Poor her, being sniffed after by James. I know she must not like that at all! (Even though I would) and I have this feeling that Thalia is going to run into Sirius again. And not in a good way. Hm.
I actually really enjoyed this though and the only CC's I can give you is that you should add in some periods here and there. It would make the sentences alot smoother but other than that, it was a nice read so keep it up!
Thanks for the read lovely!
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie! Yay for confetti that's always fun! Yeah I plan to include more about Thalia's father and home life through out the story, as I didn't want to reveal it all straight away, as her personality is a rather private one, so it would seem odd for her to have no secrets! Ha, the unintended pun was good anyway! Yeah I think everyone wants to date Sirius, I mean I would if he was actually real! I just wanted to show his transition in Thalia's eyes of someone who she thought was cocky actually is rather nice:)
Yeah, my earlier chapters are rather on the short side so they do tend to lack in description, so I'll make sure that Lily features a lot in the next chapters. Thanks for the advice it's really useful! Thank you for the lovely review, I really enjoyed reading it! Kiana :D


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