Hey Maggie, it's me with your review!
I'm coming to really like Salazar, even if he is a Slytherin! He seems really caring in a discreet sort of way towards Helga, and he seems to be oberserving everything which is happening, which is really good, as it shows his cunniness and how he's analysing the situation.
I thought the lead up to Salazar's history was great, as it showed how him and Helga have become quite good friends, and then you feel their friendship is breaking up, but this secret will make them even closer.
I thought it was great that you tied in Salazar's parents death, with them burning at the stake as that is genuinely what happened in those time, so good historical accuracy! I can know see where his fear of fire comes from, and I can really understand why he would hate it so much.
I'm glad that you made Salazar's hate of muggles have a reason behind it, and that it wasn't just an irrational hate. If it was irrational it would have been the easier and more predictable choice, so I'm glad you went for the more rational and unexpected choice.
It's almost worrying how similar Salazar and Voldemort are, both comitting their first muder at 16, both believe purebloods are the best, both having a severe hate for muggles. Also their inability to feel regret and guilt. I really like how you've drawn comparisons between the two.
Woo, Helgazar - that's such a cool name! I loved that scene, I just dread that Helga's come along too late to save Salazar, as he seems to deep in his hate for muggles for it to change! I loved the kiss scene I thought it was a great lead up, and it seemed like the only approriate thing to do after Salazar told her that. In response to your question over whether it was too soon, I don't think it was as it seemed the most natural progression.
In the first paragraph there's this line ' I struggled to make peace with what had just occurred', I think it would sound better, if you said sense instead of peace :) I thought it flowed really well so no need to worry about that.
Overall I thought it was a great chapter, as it had so much revelation and drama! I'm really looking forward to the next chapter to see how Helgazar continues! Kiana :)
Author's Response: Hi Kiana! You're the first reviewer on this chapter, and I appreciate your feedback so much!
As I've been writing Salazar, I've realized I have more than one goal for his character. I want to portray him as this really straight-laced guy who is kind of unpleasant at first, and when he does reveal a sense of humor, it's always at someone else's expense. But under that, he really has a lot of good qualities and is capable of compassion and love, and I try to show that too. He's not an evil person, but he's deeply troubled, which affects how he acts. He's also very observant, like you noticed, and his observations about Helga have led him to trust and care about her. I think he's one of the more complex characters I've written, and I'm so happy you're warming up to him! The fear of fire comes from that deep-rooted memory of watching it kill his parents, and I'm glad you thought that seemed believable. I definitely wanted to have his hate come from somewhere, and not just be irrational, like you said. I hope readers can sympathize with him and understand him, even if they might not want to meet him in real life.
Okay. Sorry for the Salazar character sketch there, I just really like talking about him :) And I really appreciate all your great thoughts on him. But anyway, on to the rest!
Kind of like your comparison with the Riddles in the last chapter, I never even thought to compare Salazar and Voldemort. But now that you mention it, they really are so similar! Haha it just goes to show how history repeats itself, even in fiction.
I am SO glad you liked that scene!! It's definitely my favorite so far, because I love romance. I worried a little bit that there wasn't enough buildup, but I'm happy it worked for you. I just felt like it was the perfect time for it to happen! And Helga will definitely do all she can for Salazar, but you'll just have to read on to see the results.
Thanks for that wording suggestion! I'm making notes of all the suggestions I've gotten, so I can go back and edit at some point :) And thank you so, so much for your wonderful reviews! It just means so much to me that you enjoyed the story, and that you took the time to review every chapter for me. I'm working on chapter 8 now, and I'll definitely be hitting up your review thread when it's up! Thank you again, Kiana!
(Oh, and I like the name Helgazar too. It kind of sounds like a dinosaur, right? :P)