So, tempted as I was to return to Over the Edge, I've been wanting to read this since you first posted it. I think it was even on my favorites list for a while, and then I pruned the list, and... anyway, here I am. I'm excited to finally check this out.
First off, I love that Lorcan is given a starring role in this chapter. I feel like he gets stuck on the edges a lot in next-gen stories, if he's mentioned at all, and I felt so bad for him that I gave him a supporting role in a next-gen novella I just finished. Anyway, I feel like his role as the investigator of Snape's home is perfect, because it fits with the curiosity we would expect from Luna (not that the Galleons weren't a significant factor!).
I'm so jealous of your ability to write the action sequence, too. I'm sitting at work on break, shoving popcorn into my mouth, and reading this chapter was like watching a movie unfold. The progression of events seemed very natural, except for the punctuation added by Snape's intense reactions and clearly developed sense of paranoia.
Speaking of Snape, the characterization here was fantastic. It seems like he's not going to get any rest, which was possibly the one good thing about his death in canon. It makes me sad to think about how much the loss of Lily still tortures him here. It'll be interesting to see where Lily II figures in here, as well as Scorpius.
This was a great, attention-grabbing opening chapter! Perhaps I'll have to drop by again sometime and pick up with the next chapter.
Thanks so much for the swap!
Author's Response: I'm actually kind of glad you picked this story. Of course, you are more than welcome to read OtE anytime, but I tend to think people will like this one more. Not because it's so well written or anything, but it's got more magic, more familiar characters, and a lot less swearing :P
Anyway... I'm so glad you liked the inclusion of Lorcan here. I think the idea of Luna's kids is just too much fun. And you're right, neither of the twins get as much screen time as they should. He isn't a main player in this story, but he and his brother do pop up a few more times throughout.
I'm glad you liked the action sequence. I actually really enjoy writing them since you can get away a bit more with short, choppy sentences. And I'm so glad you liked Snape. He's my favorite character from the series, and the idea of him meeting the granddaughter of Lily, with that same red hair... And it's really cool that you mentioned the bit about Snape getting a rest, since that will actually play a role in future chapters.
Yea! I'm so glad we did this swap. I got to read another chapter on your wonderful story and snagged myself this lovely review. I hope we can do it again soon :)