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Review:patronus_charm says:
Hey it's patronus_charm with your review!

I thought it was cool that you started with the present then went into a flashback, as it gives you a sense of where the stories come from and what it will lead to later on.

One thing that slightly confused me was this - "Move move! I have to see my niece," I heard my Mum say, if it was her mum, wouldn't she want to see her daughter? It's an easier thing to clear up though :)

I think Amber and her siblings sound really interesting, and I think it's really cool you've made them triplets, as they'll have a different dynamic between them all, compared to the bond shared between normal siblings.

I thought it was good that you made Roxy her best friend, as people tend to desginate that job to Rose, so it was nice to see her have more prominence, as I haven't really read much about how, so I'm intriguid to see how she turns out!

Ooh, the grim reaper, what an original idea! I don't think I've ever seen a story where Draco is in Harry's debt, so this was a good plot twist. Also Draco not being their father, I wonder who that actually is, and who's their mother, I'm guessing Astoria, as Scorpius is in the story.

One or two I would like to suggest are, that you shorten the spaces between the paragraphs as it means you lose the flow a bit due to the constant scrolling down, the other being could we perhaps see a bit of Scorpius in the next chapter? As I was rather unsure for most of the chapter if he featured in the story or not.

Other than than I thought it was a rather good start, so keep it up! Kiana :)

Author's Response: Thank you for the review!

Ooops! haha ya tht was a mistake on my part :P

Im glad you like the siblings and Roxy :P There will be ALOT more of her I assure you =)

No Astoria isn't the mother she is there aunt. They are Daphne's children.

Ya I will fix tht ASAP.

OHH! Good idea! Will do =) Thanks for that! Some Scorpy on the way!


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