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Review:HarrietHopkirk says:
Hello! I know this is ridiculously late but I'm here to review this for the Film Noir challenge. I know. I'm stupid. I let work and summer get away with me and so I (sort of, maybe, ish) forgot about this. But this chapter was great! I really, really enjoyed your descriptive language and I can’t wait to go on and see what happens next!

The beginning was amazing - really got the reader stuck into the story, with Harry waking up in the bed of blood and everything. Such wonderful description, again - I just want to know what happened! Whether he killed her, whether he was framed etc. Just a tip: I reckon that using ‘crack’ instead of ‘pop’ for the apparating Aurors would make it sound more gritty (pop just reminds me of bubblegum and I’m pretty sure that’s not what you’re going for).

I like the introduction to Ron and Hermione! Just watch out that you don’t lose the mood and the tension created with the beginning section. It was just a little too domesticated, but it ultimately grew more dark, which was great.

Ron, ever the heavy sleeper, awoke from the commotion and rubbed his eyes like a newborn baby as he looked at Hermione. I don’t understand why Ron - if he was a heavy sleeper - would awake from the commotion. I suggest changing it, perhaps something more like ‘even though he was a heavy sleeper’ (I know that sounds a bit crappy, but hopefully you get what I mean).

I loved their interaction with Kingsley, however. He’s such an awesome character, and the eeriness of the Ministry halls late at night really added to the atmosphere. Great work. Some amazing film noir stuff here.

And the ending! Awesome! I reckon it was something to do with Draco Malfoy! Exciting stuff. I’m going to read the other entries in the challenge and then post the results on my blog, so look out for that. Thanks for getting involved... this was a great chapter!

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