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Review:Gabriella Hunter says:
Hello!

Hey, its Gabbie here with your requested review and since we've never spoken before, its nice to meet you and all that! :)
So, I'm not really sure why you're so worried about this, I thought your flow and opening scene was really good. It wasn't overdone or dramatic, but created a much simpler scene that set up your characters really well. I like your depiction of Albus too, he's not shy or a failing student (Like mine, Hahahaha) and actually has alot of confidence. Really enjoyed the familial banter you created with Hugo and Lily, I thought that it showed alot of how they felt about one another. They were really close and you didn't need to put in that much detail to show it, since their dialogue did most of the work. :D
I'm really curious about your OC. First, her name, where and what does Manx come from? I've never heard it before. She seems like a pretty mysterious character though, I'm wondering just what she's up to, if anything and I liked that Albus wasn't really that interested. Well, he was curious, I suppose but not foaming at the mouth like some authors would have had him being with a pretty/unique OC.
So, bravo for that!
The only thing I can tell you about this is that you might want to lessen the spaces in between your sentences and check over some little gramma problems. Other than that, I liked it! I'm curious to see what else you'll do with this and I hope you re-request and if you don't, I'll pop by on my own when I have time. :3
Thanks for the read!
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Thanks Gabbie! I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter. Have you had the opportunity to read the rest? The thing about Albus is that I imagine his parents had nurtured a person who is pretty confident in himself but who doesn't have any interest in hogging the spotlight. In a family as big as his, there is always some one to take him down a peg or two but to also make him feel special. In all, he's a secure character. As for Manx, that's not her real name. She's adopted it as her nickname because she likes cats. That simple. As a person, she's the kind of girl who everyone notices. EVERYONE. But it's a passing notice. She's the girl at the coffee shop or down the hall everyone has seen before but they aren't overly curious because she looks so normal. And to be completely honest, she's not very warm and cuddly. I've been trying to fix the spacing problem, but I always get an error message. Hopefully I'll figure it out by chapter six or this might start getting embarrassing.
Thank you for stopping by!
-Chair

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