|Review:||Gabriella Hunter says:|
Hey, its Gabbie here with your requested review and I'm really sorry that I didn't get here right away, I've been ironically busy for the last few days. And it sucks.
Now, onto this review! I think what you've got here is a pretty darn realistic portrayal of the horrors and trials of growing up. The fact that you've decided to have this entire chapter in a pub, with three characters going in basically no direction at all really stands clear. Not that that's their fault of coruse and I really liked seeing what you've done with it, not having everyone who'd been at Hogwarts suddenly overcome with a stellar life. No one's life goes in the direction they think it will right after school and I really enjoyed Edi's description of her friends, herself and her life. It was kind of a lot to take in, to be honest but after I got used to it, I had to conclude that she would be my best friend. She's a really unique OC and thank goodness for it because I wouldn't have been as inclined towards her if she'd been a Mary Sue. Which, she thankfully isn't. It makes her seem all the more relatable to me, having her struggling and plowing through her life and hating every minute of her jobs, her lack of a love life and the loss of her best friend. At some point, maybe because she was just drunk, her bitterness towards Lori came off a bit childish. But after reading about Justin and his "romantic" serenade of Lori, I really can't blame her. I'm wondering if we'll see more of him later on? I'm really eager to see how their dynamics play out because I'm sure that, from the argument that you hinted at, that its not pleasant. :D
And yet, oddly hilarious.
There were alot of funny bits in here too, but I think my favorites included that bit about Seamus and his height. Hilarious. And I do know that horrible American movie you mentioned, being American and actually OWNING Leprechaun. *coughs*
Loved the ending of it too, with Edi getting sort of pressured to keep drinking. I'm not sure who's worth, Seamus, Dean or the pub, hahhaa. That next morning will not be pleasant for her, I'm betting. Hahaha.
I really don't have any CC's for this, I thought that with the lack of dialogue, your story was able to flow really well with the detail and descriptions you gave me. So, good job! :D I loved your characters, thinking more of them like people I might know and I think you've got a great story going on! :D
*Hands fat kitten*
Author's Response: A FAT KITTEN?! FOR ME?!?!?! :D
Thank you so much for your review. I'm really glad that more and more people are pointing out the overload of information in this chapter, because it's really making me rethink all of it. I'm considering splicing chapters one and two and taking out a section of the second chapter... time will tell!
I agree about the usual portrayal of Hogwarts post-grads... I think a lot of people know (from first-hand experience) that coming going into the job marking whilst your nation is coming out of a war is extremely difficult. I hardly believe that many canon characters got their dream jobs, right away.
Thank you so very much for the review! It is greatly appreciated, and don't worry about the lateness at all! :)