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Review:SilentConfession says:
Hi! It's Zayne from the forums finally responding to your review request! I'm so sorry for taking so long. I think i just needed a break from my thread and reviewing in general for a while and it wasn't till the holiday review swap that got me back into a semi groove of reviewing again! I'm again, really sorry that you've had to wait months :(.

Alright so i think this is an interesting start. I like stories that explore minor characters and the motivations to their actions. So, you choosing someone like Gellert is really fascinating and i can see how this story could be absolutely brilliant. I've always wanted to read one that explores him more so i'd be interested to see where this goes.

I do have a few CC's however if you don't mind. It was a bit weird to see him have a wand in prison. I highly doubt they would allow Gellert to keep a wand as he could use it to escape. Think that they even broke Hagrid's wand when they thought he opened the CoS.

You asked me how Gellert was as an evil character and a person in general. I think you have some really good lines that characterize him well. Like the one about his twisted idea of love and trying not to feel remorse. Also, I especially liked the line about monster making was everyone else's job. However, there were quite a few times that your wording was a bit off as well. - 'darling dear' is one example. It seemed too soft and didn't make it seem plausible for it to a. come from a man. b. come from someone who's committed the atrocities like he has.

I'm all for trying to find the human side of someone like him and i think there are times that you strike gold but all i can suggest is to watch your wording carefully that you don't make him too nice or too lovely. There was an inner darkness in him that even if he in love would have still been there.

Another small suggestion i could give is italicize his thoughts throughout the piece. It would make the flow of the story better and less confusing when he thinks.

There was a few grammatical errors I noticed with incomplete sentences or run on's. I would suggest going over this again so the flow of this is smooth. For example: The town, seemingly large in portion, held only several hundred tenants with over of the land owners being elderly. I'm not entirely sure what you meant here but i feel like it is probably just mistaken word.

On an overall note, the transition from the monologue before he dies? (does he die in that moment that part was a little confusing to me) and the part where it flashes back to his life with Ariana. This is only a question but why did you decide to keep them both in the first chapter? It might have been clearer if the two parts where split into different chapters.

Thank you so much for requesting me, again, i'm so sorry for how long it took but I hope you find this review helpful.

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for getting around to my story. Don't worry about the time, it probably took me longer to respond then it did for you to reply!

thank you for such an amazing and constructive review. I'll take everything you said into consideration when i write the next chapter. thanks again!

- Jasmine


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