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Review:The Misfit says:
Hi there! I'm here after resurrecting the Hufflepuff "review the person above" thread, and while I'm sure that I've read the Twelve Dancing Princesses, I can't remember 100% what it was about - but I'm getting away from the point here.

I especially liked how you wrote this first chapter! I don't usually read Founders era, but this sounded intriguing and I'm glad that I read it! Your descriptions are lovely; I can really see the scenes unfolding in my mind's eye. The imagery that you use is excellent and while I'm not an expert on medieval history, everything seems accurate to that time period so far- although I have to ask: if Dezzy and her sisters are princesses, wouldn't they be dressed by maids and have their own rooms? Just my opinion there. :)

I quite liked the dream scene, as it showed the contrast between Dezzy's life before her mother's death and her life afterwards. I also think that you did a good job of explaining the setting, introducing the characters and providing a backstory without making the story tedious to read- well done! XD

I did notice a couple of typos - "the snarls her elbow-length auburn curls" should be "the snarls of her elbow-length auburn curls" and a few spelling mistakes, but nothing that couldn't be fixed by proofreading a couple more times. ;) If you're not confident in your ability to pick up typos, you can post a request in the "Betas Wanted" section on the forums, and a beta could proofread your chapters for you. :)

You've certainly done well in leaving readers hanging at the end of this chapter; I'm curious as to how Dezzy and Rowena Ravenclaw are related, considering that they have the same surname, and who is watching the princesses dance! This is a really good first chapter, Cassie! ♥

PS: Oh, and that was a nice touch incorporating Helga Hufflepuff into the story!

Author's Response: Hello! It's lovely to see a fellow Puff! :)
I'm so glad you enjoyed the first chapter of this story! I love the Twelve Dancing Princesses, and really wanted to write with it, and thought that the Founders would be fun to use, because we don't know as much about their characters as we do with the marauders or Harry's generation.
I'm really glad you can picture the action in the story, because I think fairytales do a lovely job of being descriptive, and I wanted to keep that here! As for the girls' room, I had them share because I think they would rather share than be separated. They take care of each other, so this is just another way for them to be close.
I'll go back and fix the typos, so thank you for pointing them out! I tend to rush through editing... heehee.
I am so glad that you enjoyed the opening to this story, and I hope you'll continue to read!
Thank you so much!
Cassie :)


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