|Review:||The Misfit says:|
THE ENDING! THE ENDING! What an horribly awesome cliffhanger!! XD But I digress. I will review these chapters in some semblance of order so that I don't forget anything. ;)
The beginning was refreshing to read- instead of having so much drama, we're with Beth and her musings, which allows my heart to stop beating nineteen to the dozen. :P I especially like how you've had Beth edit Peter's essay, while at the same time suggesting that he should be outside. It's something that a true friend would do, and I love how Peter is so clueless and does things like crumble his essays. You can really see from his character why James and Lily eventually trust Peter to be their Secret Keeper- he's sort of too weak and non-threatening to be maliciously dangerous, if that made sense? :3
I was suspicious of what Sirius was doing when he came in with his "essay", so it was intriguing when he came bounding into the room with news that the Order actually exists. His excitement was so fun to read, and the ways that you've individualized each character is evident here, with all their different reactions and the varying ways that they handle Sirius' suggestion of joining up. It doesn't explain the mysterious "essay" though, as Sirius' behaviour indicates that he just overheard them and as soon as he was able to leave, instantly told his friends. So I'm thinking that A) you're going to explain this unidentified parchment soon or B) I haven't picked up on the reason. I think staring at a laptop screen for too long is frying my brain. :3
The scenes about their transformations were written well; you included little tidbits of personal information while moving the story along, which was great. I'm however slightly confused as to why Remus was allowed to go to the Shrieking Shack with his friends, as we've seen in the books that Pomfrey accompanied him. Also- and this might be more from reading too many Marauder fics as opposed to book canon- I was always under the impresion that the Marauders were with Remus in the Shrieking Shack when he was transformed, and not sitting some distance away. But maybe that's just me.
And now to that cliffhanger! I know that it's canon, and I know that Severus survives, and I know that I love Sirius, but that was such a cruel prank that the latter played. And now Severus is potentially walking to his doom, and the consequences are going to be pretty heartbreaking for Remus... *sobs* ♥
I have way too many Rachel feels! XD
Author's Response: I think the beginning of this chapter was as drama-free as it was because I knew what was coming at the end of it. ;) I'd sort of forgotten about this cliffhanger! They actually get less dramatic as the story progresses further, no worries. But as for the beginning, having Beth edit Peter's essay seemed like a believable thing for her to do, and it actually allowed me to set up the rest of the chapter quite well.
Fact: People should always be suspicious of Sirius, because in my mind, he is always up to something. :D (He's always perpetually bouncy, in fact, which is another point you've noticed!) You've probably figured it out by now, but you're not /really/ supposed to know the exact contents of the essay, but it has to do with the end of the next chapter, and what he was plotting all along. They're plans, essentially.
I loved writing Animagus transformation here, and I'm a bit sad the five's Animagi forms weren't more integral to the plots of the second and third books (although there are rather distinct reasons for their absence, which I hope you'll see when you get there).
Don't cry! ♥ Everything will be all right in the end. I promise. :) Thank you, once again, for a lovely review!