Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:The Misfit says:
THE ENDING! THE ENDING! What an horribly awesome cliffhanger!! XD But I digress. I will review these chapters in some semblance of order so that I don't forget anything. ;)

The beginning was refreshing to read- instead of having so much drama, we're with Beth and her musings, which allows my heart to stop beating nineteen to the dozen. :P I especially like how you've had Beth edit Peter's essay, while at the same time suggesting that he should be outside. It's something that a true friend would do, and I love how Peter is so clueless and does things like crumble his essays. You can really see from his character why James and Lily eventually trust Peter to be their Secret Keeper- he's sort of too weak and non-threatening to be maliciously dangerous, if that made sense? :3

I was suspicious of what Sirius was doing when he came in with his "essay", so it was intriguing when he came bounding into the room with news that the Order actually exists. His excitement was so fun to read, and the ways that you've individualized each character is evident here, with all their different reactions and the varying ways that they handle Sirius' suggestion of joining up. It doesn't explain the mysterious "essay" though, as Sirius' behaviour indicates that he just overheard them and as soon as he was able to leave, instantly told his friends. So I'm thinking that A) you're going to explain this unidentified parchment soon or B) I haven't picked up on the reason. I think staring at a laptop screen for too long is frying my brain. :3

The scenes about their transformations were written well; you included little tidbits of personal information while moving the story along, which was great. I'm however slightly confused as to why Remus was allowed to go to the Shrieking Shack with his friends, as we've seen in the books that Pomfrey accompanied him. Also- and this might be more from reading too many Marauder fics as opposed to book canon- I was always under the impresion that the Marauders were with Remus in the Shrieking Shack when he was transformed, and not sitting some distance away. But maybe that's just me.

And now to that cliffhanger! I know that it's canon, and I know that Severus survives, and I know that I love Sirius, but that was such a cruel prank that the latter played. And now Severus is potentially walking to his doom, and the consequences are going to be pretty heartbreaking for Remus... *sobs* ♥

I have way too many Rachel feels! XD

Author's Response: I think the beginning of this chapter was as drama-free as it was because I knew what was coming at the end of it. ;) I'd sort of forgotten about this cliffhanger! They actually get less dramatic as the story progresses further, no worries. But as for the beginning, having Beth edit Peter's essay seemed like a believable thing for her to do, and it actually allowed me to set up the rest of the chapter quite well.

Fact: People should always be suspicious of Sirius, because in my mind, he is always up to something. :D (He's always perpetually bouncy, in fact, which is another point you've noticed!) You've probably figured it out by now, but you're not /really/ supposed to know the exact contents of the essay, but it has to do with the end of the next chapter, and what he was plotting all along. They're plans, essentially.

I loved writing Animagus transformation here, and I'm a bit sad the five's Animagi forms weren't more integral to the plots of the second and third books (although there are rather distinct reasons for their absence, which I hope you'll see when you get there).

Don't cry! ♥ Everything will be all right in the end. I promise. :) Thank you, once again, for a lovely review!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

  
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

  
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


  
 
 

fanfictionworld.net