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Review:teh tarik says:
Review Tag!

First of all, this chapter has such a striking opening :D That short first sentence was a real hook and that really grabbed my attention so great work for that :)

I fell in love the way a sixteen year old does fast, hard, and irrevocably. I can really get a good sense of Tonks' voice in lines like these. As a narrator she's so exciting and full of energy and breathless at some points, and you've shown these aspects of her characterisation and her voice very well through your sentence structures. They're very nicely varied, and at times have a lovely natural rhythm to them. So far I'm really really enjoying your use of first person POV. It's so smooth; the flow is fantastic.

It's very convincing and realistic, the way Charlie and Tonks discuss their careers and all, and the possibility of long distance. I love how Tonks seems rather vulnerable in your story; it actually fits very well with her canon characterisation when she was all pining and lovelorn in HBP (although it was for Lupin xD). And speaking of Charlie and Tonks together, I love them! Their dialogue is so easy and natural, and you have lovely attention to detail! I really enjoyed the bit about Charlie only using Tonks' full name whenever he senses her concentration is slippign. Oh, that just really made me pause and marvel at the thought of it. Great job.

Gah, and that final segment of the chapter was beyond lovely (how many times have I used the word 'lovely'??) . They really are haphazard and all over the place and chaotic and I'm already shipping them together :D I'm a bit annoyed at this Ashton person though - ruined such a wonderful moment between the two -_-

I've really enjoyed this chapter! I think it's so beautifully written and your characters are just so real. Especially Tonks. I love Tonks' voice. This is a great piece of writing. I'll probably come round on my own to read your next chapter!

-teh

Author's Response: Ahhh I'm so sorry this response has taken me so long!

I'm so happy that you felt the first person PoV was smooth, because honestly.. I'm terrible at it. It's such a struggle for me to get into first person, once I'm there I enjoy it, but it definitely doesn't come easy, haha.

I like a bit more vulnerable Tonks, as well. I think she just seems like such a free spirit who lives with her heart on her sleeve.

The next chapter focuses much more on Charlie and his dragons, kind of getting a sense why, when the time comes, leaving them would have been too hard. If you do end up wandering back over here, I hope you enjoy it ♥

I've been a bit preoccupied with my Marauders lately, but your review has reminded me how much I enjoy writing these two, hopefully I'll get the next chapter done soon!

Thank you so much for stopping by ♥


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