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Review:unknownhorcrux says:
Hi! I'll add comments as I go along, so I'll be writing as I'm reading.

First off, I love this idea for a story. Never gets old :)

You may want to go into a little more detail when you say that they have a lot of complex emotions. People will really want to hear about them and it's where you get to show off your writing skills.

Try to make sure you don't repeat words - in the paragraph about Dumbledore's grave, you said 'grave' about 3 times. Just reading stories through and listening to how they sound would be helpful for that.

I like this phrase: 'as pale as the moon but perfectly intact.' It's a really good image.

I like the idea of Hermione asking Harry about Ron. It seems genuine and I can believe her anxiety.

I love the bit with Ron carrying Hermione. It was really sweet!

Overall, a really nice start to what's going to be a great novel. I'd just be careful with those few things I mentioned. Try to add some more vivid descriptions and vary your vocabulary a bit more. Well done! I really enjoyed that!

Author's Response: I know what you mean by the vocabulary part, I tried to use some more deeper and complex words to describe their emotions but from the top of my head I couldn't exactly find any! Thanks for the Review and I love the fact that you used constructive critcism :)

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