|Review:||Toujours Padfoot says:|
I KNEW THIS WAS COMING AND YET I WAS NOT AT ALL PREPARED.
D: D: D: D: D:
My mind is buzzing. Now that he's going to forget Beth, what will be his motivation to act as a spy? Will that be where canon seeps in? Or something else? His memory is going to have to be so severely modified... And if it's Lily who serves as the driving force behind his being a spy, and someone reached into his brain and found that out, this means he's willing for Death Eaters to use Lily to get to him. Right? Since that's his reasoning for forgetting Beth in the first place, to protect her. But if he's doing it for love in the name of anyone at all from the Order, he's still equally in danger. I am just on the edge of my seat wondering how he is going to justify to himself being a spy for the Order when, if it weren't for Beth, he would never dream of doing such a thing. Or will Dumbledore plant that in his mind? The desire to deviate from the Dark Arts? I AM SO FULL OF QUESTIONS. I FEEL BAD FOR YOU WHEN YOU GET ONLINE TONIGHT BECAUSE I WILL ATTACK YOU LIKE A SWARM OF BEES.
I should have known you would finally, FINALLY, FINALLY give us the long-awaited Severus-Beth kiss while simultaneously ripping away their happily ever after. DAMN IT, RACHEL. ARUGHHH. Their first kiss is minutes before Severus forgets all about her, while Dumbledore is piddling around the kitchen pretending to be interested in cocoa when in reality he was probably sitting there wondering why the hell he couldn't hear their conversation.
I feel so HORRIBLE for Beth and OH MY GOD SIRIUS I HAVE NEVER BEEN ANGRIER WITH YOU. I was hoping throughout the chapter that Beth would discover what he did so that she could tear him a new one, because he deserves it and I kind of want to see her terrify him because he has RUINED EVERYTHING.
This part: "I can't lose you - I don't want to be the person I am when you're not here -" and Please remember me - I THINK YOU ARE TRYING TO KILL ME. You have ripped my heart out and stomped on it and then called it mean names and then gave it to Sirius to give to Dumbledore like the traitor he is, and then Dumbledore ruined things with his ideas like he does, and I am no longer making sense but I do not know what is going to happen now because the extent of what I know of your plot after this point is murky, and I will have to force answers out of you. I know certain things but I NEED TO KNOW MORE.
How in the world is Beth supposed to go on after this. How is she supposed to cope. To see Severus come and go, and have him look at her without any flicker of recognition, not caring, and she meanwhile still has all of her memories of him, just thinking about it makes me feel so small and lost inside and sometimes I just really hate what you do to my feelings even though I also love it because it's worth it to have your feels stomped on when the author does it so deftly.
You are too talented at writing tragic love for your own good. Someday when you are published you will be renowned for breaking millions of hearts. And I will read every cruel/wonderful/miserably depressing thing you write. ♥
Author's Response: -hugs you and gives you lots and lots of hot chocolate cupcakes- ♥
You are quite correct; this is where a bit more of the canon seeps in. You'll see that in the third book, of course, but you'll probably wheedle more out of me before you ever see those bits anyway, since you've got a knack for wheedling. He is still very much in danger, though, and luckily he knows that -- oh my gosh, if he forgot how much danger he was in. D: The Death Eaters aren't exactly light on punishment. And the Order isn't too, when you really think about it. And now I'm wanting to type all of these things and I don't want to give too much away, which means the next time you're online I'll probably just start chattering like a pressurized hosepipe that's been released at long last and you'll just be like WHOA CALM THE HECK DOWN ALREADY.
I thought for sure you would have anticipated the kiss! :D That has been planned basically as long as the idea for his losing his memory has, because a) I am masochistic, and b) there is no second reason, because the first is basically it. (You obviously forget that you are friends with someone with strong Slytherin traits.) Although for some reason your mentioning Dumbledore piddling about with cocoa made me laugh, because he probably is wondering why it's so quiet out there but at the same time I can see him actually making cocoa. It seems very much like a Dumbledore-y drink.
I KEEP FORGETTING THINGS THIS FAR BACK, THIS IS WHY I SHOULDN'T WRITE IN ADVANCE. Sirius really screwed everything up, though. Like, majorly. And to be honest, he does not learn from his mistakes very well. Make of that what you will! Cackling, though, because this was basically the extent of your knowledge of the plot and you're probably envisioning whole natural disasters in book three. CACKLING. ♥ (Though like I say, it's not like I won't be liberal enough with details if you do enough coaxing.)
-rolls around in a huge pile of feels- I am glad the stomping was deft! I sometimes wonder if it's a good thing to write tragic love... but then I don't care and plow on anyway. You are /so supportive/ and you've given me so much confidence in myself and my abilities and just gah. If by some miracle I ever publish a book, you have a lifetime guarantee of a signed advance copy, and here's that promise in writing so I have to go through with it!