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Review:patronus_charm says:
Hey it's patronus_charm with your review :D

I think your description is great so there's no need to worry. You describe everything so vividly that it really draws the reader and captivates them.

I think the plot was a really original and excellent choice. You've already created suspense and mystery in the first chapter which is great as most people tend to just describe the characters which gets boring. However you managed to incororate this decription into the action which worked out brilliantly.

I also liked how Sirius is still in the story even if he is just lurking in the shadows. I felt it was a tiny bit unrealistic that he was grieiving over a relative who he supposedly. However as you don't say when it's set it's hard to know what Sirius's thoughts are at the moment :)

I think the dynamics of the Black family were great, though I was left wondering why Barty Crouch was there I guess he was just a family friend. I did like the murder accusation he threw out as it leaves you wonder whether it's true or not and if it is who the murderer is. I'm currently think Sirius or Bellatrix if that is the case ;)

Overall I thought it was a brilliant chapter and a great start to the story, I think I'll do the next as well :)

Author's Response: Hey there! :)

Honestly, this is a bit of a guilty pleasure - I've always wanted to write a murder mystery and one involving the Black family was too interesting an idea to pass up. I'm glad you liked it - it's so hard to know whether it works, whether you're leaving enough clues, etc. Thank you!

Sirius is lurking in the shadows in this one, but he'll come into it more later, I promise! ;) He's not grieving as such, it's more the sudden shock that his uncle is never going to come back, and that's what's effecting him, more than any kind of grief.

Oh, Barty Crouch is there because he's Regulus' best friend - sorry! I'll go back and have a look at maybe making it a bit clearer when it's set and why Barty's there so thanks for mentioning those! Ooh... I'm so happy you picked up on the 'it might not have been murder' thing - seriously - keep that in mind when you read more of it ;)

Thank you so much for this review - it really was lovely!

Aph xx


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