Hello there, back again!
Ok, loving how this chapter starts with Astoria. I love her flippant attitude toward Harry and his whole family, that they simply "fix" dark wizards. love love.
Well I have to hand it to you, you did a fine job here with the women in the clothing store. I'm glad that you wrote it too because a lot of male writers shy away from this kind of thing but I think it made your story more real and interesting. I love that, as she hears the news, she just runs out the door with the dress on. Too funny, but also very scary, because I fear for her and Draco, both looking for each other! don't they know it's scary out there?! :P
I also really liked the way that you wrote Hermione figuring out what was going on and where she was. I know from having an experience of passing out that when I came to, the first thought I had is "is it morning already? I don't want to get up!" even though I'd been perfectly awake seconds earlier. (Don't worry about me, I'd given blood :P ) So I thought you did a really accurate depiction of what it feels like to kind of come out of unconsciousness and not just sleep.
Other things I really liked in this chapter: Astoria and Flint. What a dirty liar he is! I was freaking out the whole time, like oh no they have Draco, and then turns up to save the day! Well sort of, she was still scantily clad, but meh. This Flint sounds like a real jerk. I can see how he might harbor these thoughts about purebloods because clearly they were instilled in this entire generation from a young age. I don't think that their thoughts on life would have changed all that much from what they were when they were little, possibly becoming a little more tolerant but otherwise their core values will probably stay the same. But it seems like Flint got a little more twisted that the others did. I really dislike him but I think you've made a good job of singling him out as the villain so far.
The part with Harry and Draco I LOVED. I loved the little banter they had going on at the beginning where all they did was insult each other. And the thing is, it makes total sense. I don't think there's ever a time when the two of them could even remotely get along, except if their children or families respectively were involved. But I do love the way you have portrayed them here, that even despite the darkness and the misery that's beginning to happen, the two of them can't just bury their differences and get on with things. I really like the way that Harry extended an olive branch at the end, thanking Draco for doing the right thing, and Draco attributes it to Astoria. I feel like these characters have an interesting, yet realistic and canons relationship and you've done a great job portraying that.
One other thing, before I go, that I really liked, was the way you said that Ron was Harry's best mate but Hermione was Harry's best friend. I thought that was really sweet and also true. It didn't downplay their relationship but it didn't hint at any gross Harry Hermione ship either (which I hate hate hate hate lol). I thought it was simply put and probably a true assessment of their relationship.
Overall another excellent, mind boggling chapter. Everything is developing so smoothly, I'm jealous at the way things seem to be unfolding for you. I wish I could be that dedicated to detail. It's like you know what's coming up next. Gah I need to plan my stories better. Fabulous job!!
Author's Response: I guess I've sat here staring adoringly at this review for long enough, hmmnn? Time to respond.
I really liked the idea of Astoria trying to stay interested while Daphne pilfers through the entire stock of clothes in some fancy boutique. It seemed like a good contrast to what's about to happen. I try really hard not to shy away from including different sort of characters with different sort of perspectives. I even tried writing Tonks from a first person PoV in Surrender to the Night. I think my number one comment I get on that one is, "Wait, you're a guy???" I guess I'm doing something right.
I remember that groggy, confused, "everything is not right with the world" feeling from waking up after I had my wisdom teeth cut out. Granted, that was over 20 years ago, but that sort of thing never really leaves you.
Yep, Flint is a sleaze. As the old saying goes, nobody comes out of prison better than the way they went in. I imagine you'll come to like him even less as the story progresses, but rest easy knowing that he'll get his just desserts at some point.
I really enjoyed writing the conversation between Harry and Draco. I think of them as having reached a point in life where they're able to insult one another in a civil tone of voice, without the argument turning into a duel. I don't think they'll ever *like* one another. But they can agree on certain things, such as the importance of keeping their family safe.
You know, I've gotten widely varying reactions to the comment about Hermione being Harry's best friend. After everything that happened during the year they were on the run from Voldemort, I don't think I'll ever see it any other way. Harry may think of Ron as a brother and Ron will always be his go-to guy for talking Quidditch over a few beers, but Hermione was the one who never left his side. She was the one who was ready to follow him into the Forbidden Forest and die with him. That goes a little beyond the relationship he has with Ron, I think.
I'm pleased as can be that you're enjoying the story. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and I can't wait to hear from you again!