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Review:MargaretLane says:
Oh gosh, if Fred is anything like his father, this could be a tough one. *goes to see what Fred's challenge is*

The constant references to Hugo's owl are beginning to amuse me.

And that comment that Hugo has to learn to lie in the next minute is a nice touch. It gives us an insight into how difficult he finds it to lie.

When Lily is saying she wants to be kept in the loop, it'd sound better if she said it "leads me to believe that only THEY are involved" instead of "only THEM".

Hugo has a thing about Teddy killing people. It's like a recurring gag and like the owl, it's quite amusing.

The comment about needing a representative of Uncle Percy's family should have a full stop at the end, before "Lily shrugs it off".

And you misspelled "strength" as "strenght".

It's pretty unfair to expect Killian to beat them at something they're the best in the school in in order to date Molly. If they are looking for somebody who's best in the school at everything, then nobody is really likely to pass their tests and what are they going to do? Sabotage every relationship she's in just because her boyfriends are good at different things than her cousins are?

And it's rather amusing that Hugo's friends can think of something for him to challenge Killian at when he can't. It makes sense though. It's often easier to see what other people are good at than what we are ourselves, because it's considered arrogant to focus on what you are good at.

*laughs at everybody saying it's typical of them* I'd say both good pranksters and simply crazy. Expecting somebody's boyfriend to be able to beat you at whatever your best at isn't being protective of them; it's not like eating a lot or playing chess well makes you a good boyfriend. It's just crazy.

You've written "quarter till seven" when it would be more usual to say "quarter TO seven". I've never heard "till" used in that context.

And you've described Molly and Killian as being like "a king and queed" instead of "a king and queen".

Good question, Killian. What will it prove? I think at this stage, even if he loses a challenge, he's proved himself worthy of their approval. Most people wouldn't have been such good sports and honestly, if he didn't care about her, he'd just have said "this is ridiculous, Molly. Either you sort things out with your cousins or this is over."

I like the rules you've established for the duel. They make sense.

And Umbridge kept the class silent for entire class periods, but luckily for Hugo, he hasn't experienced her.

You've said Hugo can feel the "excitation" when it should be "excitement".

I like the way you've given Killian a reason why he won both the duel and the Quidditch battle - being good at capitalising on his opponents' weak spots. He could come across as a bit of a Gary Sue if he just outplayed them every time, but I think you've avoided that pitfall by drawing attention to the fact that Fred was better than him in a lot of ways; he's just good at noticing and taking advantage of weak spots.

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