Hey, I'm here from Review Tag.
So I'm a little unsure what to make of the concept so far - first chapters tend to do that to me - because, on one hand, I love stories about Dark Lords and Ladies and the like, and about the general messed-up-ness of Wizarding society, which is what your summary seems to be promising. On the other hand, however, AU Russian girl with an implied chaotic and abrasive streak has an immediate dislike for Draco Malfoy, ends up getting Sorted into Gryffindor, becomes Dark at some point maybe... well, I've seen that before, and it tends to end up awful.
I should probably have more confidence in your writing ability than that, but still.
Okay. Now onto the actual chapter.
Your use of your mysterious, dramatic, assumedly unreliable narrator is interesting. Ze's drama leads me to assume ze is or has been fairly close to Morgan, at least enough so to be able to piece together her story or make it up entirely, so I'm guessing they're one of the students in Hogwarts era... am I close?
Your opening is nothing short of beautiful. It gave me a real sense of how committed the narrator is to this whole thing (in fact, I'd say this chapter seems to be far more about the narrator than it is about Morgan herself), but at the same time, it feels like zir hands are tied, because ze 'must' welcome it rather than wants to. I don't know, am I reading too much into this? It's pretty damn good, anyway, and your use of imagery and the analysis of the Wizarding world's reactions to people like Voldemort and Grindelwald is particularly effective.
You've got some really cool descriptive sentences throughout, especially this one:
The only way Morgan knew that they werenít a poster was that her mother was a little bit taller than her father, and it was her firm grip that led the distracted man at her side, not the other way around.
You know the whole "a picture is worth a thousand words" thing? Totally applies here. With that one image, you've shown us the level of Morgan's alienation from her family, as well as the power dynamic between her parents.
...as well as the whole "how does an assumedly external narrator know what Morgan's thinking" thing. That too.
The initial meeting - more specifically, the not-meeting - between Theodore and Morgan is a refreshing change from the usual canon character/OC fics wherein they come across each other and instantly despise each other, or instantly become friends. Basically, your eleven-year-old characters are actually eleven years old. I couldn't do that, so well done there, too.
...and you end it all with the promise of mayhem and/or war when she comes across Gred and Forge! Sounds fun, though I'm not sure why Lee Jordan ain't there too.
Anyway, well done for a fairly interesting first chapter, and you may see me around in the future to catch up with the rest of this.
Author's Response: Hey!
What a wonderful review! :) Thank you for your compliments on the narration! I am going to try and pull that streak throughout the story just because I really like the narrative voice...as to who the narrator is, that will remain a secret for a while still ;)
I do hope you come back to read some more, because I would be very curious to see your opinions on how I develop the story further. You will probably hate it that I left out Lee Jordan all together, but otherwize, since you aren't a big fan of dark boy-broken girl shipping it seems, you might have a thing or two to say about the way this particular ship will develop!
You sort of freaked me out with this, though :P "AU Russian girl with an implied chaotic and abrasive streak has an immediate dislike for Draco Malfoy, ends up getting Sorted into Gryffindor, becomes Dark at some point maybe... well, I've seen that before, and it tends to end up awful." Could you tell me which story has that same constellation? I was under the impression that my story was not too typical and would like to inform myself as to what else has ben done in this direction :)
Well,thank you for a great review, you pointed out a few useful things