|Review:||Santa's Little Helper says:|
Yeah, I'm not the big guy himself, but I'm here to give you some reviews, because I really like your fics and have never gotten around to review many of them. So let's begin. :)
Oh goodie! I love funny Snape stories. His sarcastic quips are one of my favorite things in canon. I can't actually figure out why I haven't written about him yet myself, since he's so intriguing personality. Anyways, I'm really happy to inform you, that you got his drier-than-desert humour and his inimitable character down to pat.
It's good thing to know, that at least some of Snape's pores produce more than grease, even if it's sweat that mildews socks. Although, that sounds a pretty unfortunate condition as well. :P His snide thoughts about Harry's preferred future occupation being half deity definitely hit the target. *snigger* Those two had such a tumultuous relationship.
The mere idea that Snape has to guide Slytherins every year to some kind of meaningful career is simply put laughable. I guess there must be an oddball there every once in a while, who actually has plans to his future (like the world domination), but with all that inbreeding, hereditary stupidness is inescapable as proven with Gaunts.
Crabbe torched his sister? Wow, he's a creep and a half. Pansy's ambition to become next mistress of the Malfoy manor is so spot on. Sadly I know some girls who could give her run for her money with such ambitions. It's pretty disturbing.
Goyle is so cute when he needs Malfoy to help him with career plans. I could actually see him ending up as a butler in the Malfoy manor. I bet he would fit there like a glove. Unless, of course, he keeps eating sand from the driveway. I bet Narcissa wouldn't put up with that. :P
Draco's Hair Solution for dandruff and bald patches would be an instant bestseller. I can guarantee it. :) Poor Snape tries to filch the biggest secret that the Malfoys ever had; how to keep hair shinier than the silver spoons they were born with. Teehee.
Oh dear Daphne. Yes, she will do so well in the Malfoy manor. She can shop all day, and when she comes home each evening, she and Draco can braid each others hair. Quite a perfect solution. :)
Zabini's scene made made me giggle quite a lot. My favorite line: 'You're thinking of breeding dogs?' *snort* Poor unbelieving Snape. And high-mileage birds! Oh lord.
Darling Minnie. She's right, her life is basically dancing among roses compared to Sevvie here. :P Excellent ending, so excellent.
Your dialogue and the characters were perfect for subject at hand. I've rarely seen such a good parody, and it would be lovely read more of those, if you just get ideas for them. 'Little pure blood snowflake' should be pure-blood, but otherwise your writing was smooth and very enjoyable to read.
Wow, this must be the longest review I have ever written. Well, it's only fair, you've left me some too. :)
Santa's Little Helper
Author's Response: Hello, there, Little Helper! Thanks so much for volunteering to step in and help out. It really means a lot! :hug:
If you love Snape's sarcastic quips, you've come to the right place. Honestly, I'm not a big fan of the character. Snape/Lily stories make me cringe. But there's something about writing him in his full, snide, bitter glory that gives me a thrill. It's my guilty pleasure.
I enjoyed writing each of the Slytherin kids in turn, although I think Crabbe and Zabini were my favorites. I wrote Zabini's section first, but I liked it so much I decided to save it for the end. The idea of making Crabbe a pyro was easy enough based on what happened in DH, but the reference to his sister popped into my head while writing this and I was literally giggling as I wrote it.
Gah. I hate the term "pureblood". I'm never quite sure whether to split it up, smush it together, hyphenate it... It's a pain!
It seems that you're dropping subtle little hints as to your identity. I shall have to ruminate on this...
Once again, thank you so much for stepping in where others didn't do their part. I really, really appreciate it!