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Review:Isabelle says:
i like where this is going so far and am excited to see what happens next. only 1 criticism: i think that the random side-tracks and parentheses attacks are fitting of james' personality however some of them distract too much from the main story and make it hard to follow. if you went through and got rid of some of this uneccessary information (such as "the talk" and all of the random info on Mir...batha...whatever) them the story would be much more enjoyable and easier to read.

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