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Review:ashleydelacour says:
Your writing is so beautifully vivid. Your opening paragraph almost made me close my eyes and breathe in the wind of the sea. I swear I could hear the little wind chime of the shells clinking and the sand between my feet.

On the other hand, this opening also made me incredibly sad and my heart hurt. I always read how well our characters are doing after the War. How they thrived without the presence of Voldemort, how everyone was able to breathe so much easier, and how easily it seemed that everyone was able to move past all the death and destruction that took place. But I haven’t really read how negatively it could’ve affected our most beloved Trio. To see the light wiped out of the other two, even though we all thought they were going to be okay when they both just caved from the tension…is just so, indescribably sad.

The only technical thing I have is a few paragraphs from the end, where she’s listing all the reasons she needs to stay. It needs some commas to separate the sentence out, because it runs on otherwise and makes it a little hard to read. I had to insert my own commas in my head a little, and it distracted from your writing. It seems a little nit-picky, I agree, but you wouldn’t believe how subconsciously we process those grammatical punctuation marks, and then struggle to make sense of writing when they’re not there.

This is another day in the in-between, another day she runs without moving at all. Absolutely love this line. I know I’ve felt like this at times, and the feeling of spinning our wheels in life was really brilliantly put.

Overall, this a beautifully tragic piece of writing. It wrenched at my heart strings and made me sad for the two of them. The heroes that didn’t live so heroically, the Princess and Prince that didn’t live happily ever after, the people that just couldn’t quite put themselves back together as everyone else seemed to (or at least, we assume). All of it really comes together and leaves me rather empty and sad, which I find is few and far between in pieces of writing in fanfiction. Truly, this was brilliant, and I look forward to reading more pieces from you.

-ashleydelacour

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