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Review:Hippothestrowl says:
Another well above average chapter. Dumbledore sounds like Dumbledore. I think though, he is so polite he might use a ruse to send away R & H by saying things have changed and would they double-check the train again? Look for anything out of the ordinary but don't arouse anyone's suspicions with too many questions. Harry rises to go with them but D says no as he's not a prefect and it would attract attention. Once outside, Hermione drags Ron to end of the train where Fawkes came. Ron says what you going this way for? H says, D'uh! D knows we'll have already checked the train. He just wants to talk to H privately. This is where I'd put the first kiss with H taking the initiative. But if you really wanted to stay Harry-centric then this would have to be implied on their return.

'petite, boisterous, quick-witted' is adjective-listing like the catwalk again only this time it's a CV. Just use one there and slip the others in elsewhere if they are really needed. Now the next-but-one para described Harry's view of the different aspects of Ginny and this works perfectly to bunch together a lot of stuff about her without being an obvious author's list.

"Harry?" Dumbledore reminded gently. - I love this stuff; just how JKR writes, simple but spot on.

Dursley's should be Dursleys', where Dursleys is the plural that Dumbledore uses later so he can't be wrong!

A gem of a chapter with attention to little details! The frog card adds another dimension and I really, really hope that Harry and Ginny get together or can keep in touch. Not perfect but close to the look and feel of the original works by JKR. I think I'm starting to fall in love with this story and I've never said that about any other fic. :)

Author's Response: Thank you, very high praise I must say, thank you for that.
As far as your comments on how you would have done things differently, all I can say is, I will write as I feel the scenes and hope at least to be consistent to my characterizations. I hope my interpretations don't put you off.
I will go back and correct the misused plural.
Thanks for your comments and thanks for reading, I will definitely look forward to your comments on further chapters.
Happy reading!


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