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Review:Violet Gryfindor says:
What painfully purple prose is this? Doth thou raiseth forth the spirits of all great authors against your noble self in rage for the crimes you've dared committed against the English tongue? From the mixed metaphors to the hilariously-chosen brackets, this was indeed a work of true brilliance, unlike any other ... and I desperately hope it remains that way. :P

I'm glad that you don't know what went on in this story - it makes two of us. The prose is certainly thick, but it was fun to pick out the jokes, be they the more obvious one-liners like "hot, hot Amazon" (that one killed me with laughter) or the sneakier metaphors and imagery. There was an awful lot of dirt, refuse, and oddly disturbing descriptions that produced a wonderfully ironic effect. Butterfly wings caressing one's cuticles? It's just so creepy! If this character was coming after me, I'd run as fast as I could, too.

What's sad is that there were images that I really liked, such as the goosebumps as Braille one. On its own, it's clever - something I'd like to use. That's what gets me about this story: I've written this way, hopefully not quite to this extent. It's a big temptation to make a story sound "poetic", flooding it with images and words just because its "cool" or "pretty". But it has to be measured, with a consistent, limited set of images and a clear focus on the subject matter, no running away with words for the heck of it.

This story was fun to read, but also thought-provoking. Style really has an important place in a story - it can make or break it, no matter what kind of plot or characters it contains. What Rachel said about "making intelligent fun of something" is the perfect way to describe what you've done here. You always come up with the best things!

Author's Response: Hahaha, thank you for dropping by to read this extremely purple prose! This one-shot was the result of my annoyance at overly-stylistic stories that are full of pretty words but actually make very little sense. TenthWeasley puts it best when she says: "Too-thick imagery does not mean amazing writing" - but there seems to be something of a trend where extremely ambiguous, metaphor-laden things fool readers into believing they are secretly more meaningful than they really are. In reality, the author just threw a lot of nice-sounding words together in a way that doesn't totally make sense, but readers 'interpret it in their own way' - meaning that the author had no idea what the hell he/she was doing and hopes the readers will just assume. /end rant.

I'm poking a little bit of fun at myself, too, because I've written my fair share of purple prose. I've got a one-shot called "Silhouettes" that makes me gag whenever I reread it. So imagery is one of those things you have to measure carefully, and use it when it fits and elaborates on the scene rather than mucks it up with confusing tangents. I'm learning not to abuse it just for the sake of trying to make readers 'ooh' and 'aah'.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

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