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Review:Secret Santa says:
Hello Beeezie, It's your Secret Santa here again :)

Sorry about the huge delay between gifts, I couldn't access much on the archives earlier in the week.

I like the way the whole story (or at least this chapter) is based on the rivalry between Roxanne and James II, I think it's a really good idea for a story; the tale of competition between people, who, deep down, love each other.

I really like the characterisation in the story, it seems so realistic, the idea that the most important thing to two 11 year olds is who the better Gryffindor is; when you're 11, things like that are really important, whereas when you're older, you no longer care; like most people grow out of sibling, or in this case cousinly, rivalry as they get older, so I think you've done an amazing job with the sort of feel of the story.

One of my favourite bits was this: '"Oh, no," she groaned. "We're going to get detention for sure. It shows how the two 11 year olds aren't as brave as they try to make out. So they are worried about getting detention, when they're trying to show the other how they are the 'better Gryffindor'. It just made me laugh! :')

I really liked the ending of the chapter :) Especially this bit: 'James grinned at her. "It's all about plausible deniability. I don't think she believed me, but she couldn't prove it." // Roxanne considered that for a moment. // Plausible deniability. She rather liked the sound of that.". I think it was a really clever way to end it. And, I haven't yet read it, but I suspect that will feature again in the coming chapters. ;)

I really like the way you've started this, and I can't wait to read the rest.

I'm sorry this isn't very constructive, but I can't really think of any improvements

Happy New Year!
-Secret Santa xx

Author's Response: Aw, no worries - I can understand that. I'm also entirely too late in replying to your lovely reviews, so I certainly can't hold when you left them against you! I'm really sorry - life has been kind of horrible and hectic.

I'm glad that you felt like I was portraying them as real eleven year olds - they end up becoming much more blasé about the rules as they get older, but I felt like starting out they would probably be more cautious. I'm glad you agree. :P

Thank you so much for the lovely review!


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