|Review:||Ravenclaw Secret Santa says:|
I find it interesting how you are slowly incorporating Lily into the circle of friends. Obviously, shifts like that do happen in real life, but in writing it sometimes doesn't come across as natural (though I can't say that it always feels natural in real life :P ).
That was kind of a weird thing going on there with James, though, when he came out of the locker room and was looking at the ground. And what was up with Sirius's reaction? (In case it wasn't obvious, this review I am typing as I read. I don't always do that, but sometimes I do.) Am I missing something here?
Haha, James is such a show-off.
Uh-oh. Sirius knows Beth likes Severus? I smell some major drama ahead. I expect this is going to cause some awkwardness and hurt feelings among the circle of friends I was just praising a moment ago. On the other hand, it could eventually have the effect of drawing Beth and Severus closer together, like if she goes to hide in the library while he is there too, for example.
Hm, I'm actually not too fond of POV switches in the middle of a chapter like that, but I'm going to give you a pass because I was burning with curiosity to know if and how James had told Beth's secret. Also, you're still writing him in a compelling way. Are you going to write from other characters' points of view as well?
Hah! So Beth and Severus did talk! It was a natural progression, but I wasn't expecting it in this chapter quite yet. Then again, this is already the 10th chapter, so it makes sense to move things along a bit. Yeah, it was super awkward as those two always have been so far, but at least the mutual suspicion and distrust seem to be receding a little bit.
Author's Response: I think incorporating Lily into the little group was one of the harder things about writing this first book. :P She never really seems to be great friends with any of the boys in canon, and yet three-ish years later she's agreed to name Sirius as Harry's godfather, and /something/ had to happen in between. Sometimes canon has more holes than Swiss cheese.
As for the bit you mentioned being confusing -- Sirius and James acting funny -- James told Sirius earlier that day about Beth's crush on Severus, and he was feeling pretty guilty for it as soon as he saw she was waiting to wish him luck, etc. As for Sirius, he thought she'd been talking to Severus, and was going to take the mickey out of her if she had been, so was a bit surprised she was talking to James instead. Sorry -- reading back over that, I can definitely see how you found that a bit odd!
I actually think this is the only time I switch POVs in the middle and don't keep to the one I switched to. Huh. It's always fun when someone goes back and starts reviewing one of my slightly older stories -- it's like getting to relive it myself all over again! Fair warning, though, Beth and Severus truly are only going to get more awkward as the plot progresses. (I really seem incapable of writing romance without a whole bunch of miscommunication and awkwardness. Woe.)
Thank you so much (again!) for all of your reviews! I'm really glad that you were willing to read all of this for me, and would love to see you back again soon. You're awesome! I hope you had a very merry holiday season! ♥