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Review:Jchrissy says:
First of all, I love that you stated this was a prequel. It wouldn't be enough as it's own story, but knowing it stands beside something else made me extremely curious about the other story. This is such a perfect writing style for my taste. It's so easy to read in the sense that you took a lot of care to word things in a way that makes them just sink into my brain. I didn't ever find myself tripping over awkward sentences, or trying to swim through description to get to the point.

I love reading poetic works, but this is the style that just captures me the most. After the first paragraph I'm already imagining everything like a movie, and that didn't stop until the very really. Really, really awesome job on making everything feel so smooth, m'dear.

You also do an excellent job with dialogue tags. You avoid them when you can and instead make it clear through another thing, like 'She hugs Lily, wishing her a happy Christmas..' so you still make it clear who is speaking without having to point it out.

I really enjoy Mary's personality. The way she watches things, takes things in, she really does seem like an old soul. She's too sensible for her own good, and it's so easy to see why she and Sirius would be good for one another. His unplanned, chaotic personality with her very reserved one. She could help him grow and he could remind her how to live. and gah. Of course it wouldn't end will after Halloween of 1981.. but it could be so perfect until then. Anything marauders breaks my heart.. but I really love the way you characterized everyone. I'm extremely picky about this bunch, but I loved your boys + the girls.

Author's Response: You leave the best reviews *hug*

This piece is one of my personal favorites. Mary is one of my favorites. I can't remember how it started but she just came to life for me one day and I absolutely fell in love with her character. Or what I think her character is :P
I'm glad you liked the dialogue. Or lack thereof. When I was writing it I just felt like stopping to put in lots of wordy bits was tripping things up and messing with the flow. The point of this story isn't what they're saying it's what they see and feel. It's everything behind the dialogue so it just felt unimportant to have a lot in there.

I hope to have the story this is attached to up before this summer but I'm being really fussy about it. Honestly it's actually a story I started writing years ago and then I changed and grew as an author and I took it down because I didn't like it anymore. But I still love the idea of it so now I just have to make it work.

Thank you so much for such a lovely review :)

xoxo
Shiloh


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