Hi Lia! Aisha here for your review! I'd like to start by saying that I am very glad that I was paired up with you in this month's review exchange swap, because if I wasn't, I might not have discovered what is such a gloriously written one-shot.
The structure of this is brilliant. I loved how you offered small snippets into Snape's childhood, small moments that shows the reader his character, his situation and his parent's characters all at the same time. It suits the story perfectly.
Your description is beautiful as well. You have captured the fragility of the Snape household brilliantly, every action shows how close the family is to breaking point and you don't waffle on pointlessly which is good :D The fractured picture of the Snapes that you paint is subtly done, which is a testament to your talent, because never once did you say that Tobias killed his wife, but the reader is able to come to that conclusion. You tell enough, but not too much, leaving some to the reader's imagination, which I enjoyed very much.
The only thing that I could think could be improved is the word 'sidewalk'. Britpicking here, it should be pavement ;) However, the fact that I can pick fault with one word just goes to show what an amazing piece of writing this is, and I loved reading it. Definitely one for the favourites!
Author's Response: Hi Aisha! I'm thrilled to have gotten you as well, I love 'House of Cards'!
I've taken to writing like that recently. Instead of something continuous, I write snapshots within a big snapshot. I cover more ground that way, I guess, and I tell my readers more too.
A lot of Snape's life was a bit delicate. From his school life and his relationship with Lily to what went on at home. None of them were very nice, but life at home was the most unbearable. It's awful to feel like if you're walking on eggshells all the time, and that's what I tried to depict. Tobias Snape, in my eyes, is a bit of a loose cannon only Severus didn't realise that soon enough. In the end you realise that his household wasn't the only broken one. This might have been going on for years, and probably Tobias was a product of this behaviour as well.
I tried to make Eileen's death as subtle as possible, but another reviewer mentioned that it was too vague. I thought about fixing that, but at least you got the point. As a reader, I appreciate subtleties instead of the author spelling it out, so I try not to do that when i write my own stuff.
Oh, haha. I should know better. We tend to interchange them where I'm from, but I'll get to that.
I'm really glad you liked this so much. Thank you for such a lovely review.