Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Secret Santa says:
I'm loving this so far! There are so many things to love, actually. Firstly I love the character Nathalie and how you introduce her here. I like it how you show all her insecurity about going away and about going to a school and world she doesn't know much about and where she down't know anyone. Almost anyone would be nervous and a little afraid. I would anyway. And I would probably do the same as she did and pass the compartment with Rose, Albus and Scorpius and go for one with no one or just one person or other people who look like they don't know each other. ;) She however goes on bravely and tries not to show her nervousness. One thing about her thoughts though, that I noticed. As it's from her point of view I thought the word "muggle" seemed a little out of place when she was at the station as she hasn't known about magic for that long and has maybe heard the word "muggle" once or twice. She's probably think of them as something like "ordinary people" and the "ordinary world" at this time. But that's just a tiny tiny little thing.

I liked the beginning of the story. It pulled me right in and made me curious. I wondered first if we were seeing a time when a character did not yet know she was a witch as she was maybe going to a school in London. But then it turned out that she was going to Hogwarts after all. Your writing flows well too and it's a pleasure to read.

It's really a difficult sort of chapter to write, as it's a kind of chapter many attempt and things that happened to Harry too. But I think you did really well as it was still interesting with the train ride and the sorting. I was afraid that Nathalie would sit in the train with the people she would become best friends with and I was happy she didn't and I think the jump from there to the lake was good. We didn't need to know more about what she did in the train and who she talked to or didn't.

Haha the lake scene was fun! I think I'm not so fond of Rose so far, but I liked the boys. But probably she had a reason to be so snappy about people seeing her as famous. I can imagine that some magazines would have written about some of the trio's kids getting to Hogwarts that year, so everyone would have known they were coming. And Harry would probably have been mad about it too. (and now I'm starting to imagine that scenario and sort of want to write about it) Anyway, I loved to see you write about the characters we sort of know (or at least know their families) from another person's point of view. They'll probably seem a bit different when we get to know them more and see them more. It's great that everything is coloured by Nathalie's background as muggleborn, just like Harry too wondered about everything. But still it's in many ways different from how Harry saw things. Oh and I loved to see Neville too!

So a great start! :) I liked the story summary too by the way. It made me chose this story more than for example characters or era.

Happy Holidays! :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

 
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

 
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


 
 
 

fanfictionworld.net