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Review:academica says:
Hello again! This is review six of ten :D

The awkward spacing is back in this chapter! Hopefully you can go back with the simple editor and edit this later to fix that issue.

I really liked the way you portrayed Mariah's character in this chapter. I immediately got a sense of just how full of herself she is from the short commentary on middle names at the beginning. The whole theme of her school supplies sort of amplified this idea throughout much of the chapter; she was so proud of herself for learning the Shrinking Spell and not having to lug around a ton of books, but then she didn't think about having to learn the counter-curse to return her supplies to normal. The whole thing was quite amusing! :) In fact, I would love to see you "humanize" Albus in the same way, to tell us more about who he is underneath all the pranks and awkwardness.

I would consider adding a line break to separate scenes where time passes, just for clarity's sake.

I must have somehow missed the fact that Scorpius is attracted to men, or else I forgot about it since the last time I reviewed this story. Anyway, I think it's kind of cute, and it provides some good comic relief for the Quidditch scene. I would have liked to see a little more of the actual game--I'm terrible at writing action scenes, so I can understand if you wanted to avoid it. However, I also liked how you ended the chapter abruptly with the score, though I think it would have been even more dramatic if you had added another snide comment from a Gryffindor about how they would win, just to give Scorpius's comment a challenge.

Hoping to see more Amelia/James action soon :)

~*your slytherin secret santa*~

Author's Response: I really need to just post from notepad all the time, I don't have problems with notepad with spacing. It always frustrates me when I post from word because I try to delete the extra spaces, and then it adds more spaces. It's my own fault really :D I need to remember to post from notepad.

Oh yes Mariah is definately full of herself, I loved writing that scene where she thought that she was better then everyone else and it turned out she really wasn't, I'm not sure if I've written something like that with Albus? But I definately shall include something like that.

Yes, thank you, I shall add the line :D

I think I've mentioned it before? *needs to go back and look* I think I was too scared to attempt to write the Quidditch scene, I don't think I've really written one before, but I shall try to write one and edit it in :D

There is definately more James and Amelia soon :D

Thanks my secret santa :D hehe


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