|Review:||Violet Gryfindor says:|
This was very good! I've seen you around the forums many times, and I'm glad to finally have the chance to read one of your stories! :)
What I liked most about this story was the way that you examined George's character after the war - those beginning paragraphs when you described how he was still trying to cope with his twin's death and the pain he kept experiencing was powerful. It's just what I thought George would be like afterwards. Yes, it's been a year, which is a long time, but he's also suffering from the loss of half of himself. I love how you give a clear idea of his uncertainty - he's on the cusp of moving on, which is a great place to begin this one-shot.
One thing I'm having difficulty with is the place of Natasha in George's life. Why on earth would he date someone like her? She's everything his family fought against, so why involve himself with a girl who can't stand Muggles and Muggle-borns? It could be a strong reaction against the pain of his brother's death, one of those crazy things people do when grieving and depressed, but I'm not convinced. Perhaps you explain it in the other story - in this one-shot, however, there's not enough to properly situate her within his life (especially when he's so willing to throw her off for Angelina in the end anyway). It can be fixed by providing a little more explanation, even a line here and there will do, just to help readers along.
Other than that, you write the canon characters excellently, giving a sense of how life would have been for this particular "generation" after the war. They fought too, and they're scarred, some more heavily than others, yet they still stick together and help each other through. You also do a great job with the pacing, including those short, one-sentence paragraphs in just the right places. :) I look forward to checking out more of your work in the future!
Author's Response: Hello!
Thanks for stopping by and checking out some of my work. Its always so flattering and plus, I was intending on reviewing one of your stories last night but Christmas food got the best of me. Hahah.
I shall do that soon! Promise!
Anyhoo, thanks for stopping by for this one-shot! I'd had the idea for it for a little while and it literally slapped me in the face one day and I decided to actually type it out.
I think George is probably the hardest person to write for. Like, ever. I had such a hard time balancing his pain and how he had changed during the past year! It took forever for me to get that just right and I'm really glad that I was able to express that well. Its such a relief, I was really nervous that I hadn't done it well. Angst is what I like most but I sometimes get so scared about delving into some of those emotions! D':
Ah, Natasha. I've gotten quite a few complaints about her in this one-shot and in the story "This is Angelina" where she shows up. I should have gone into more detail on why George was with her because just those few paragraphs really don't give you much. That's my fault as the author though because I was focusing so much on how he felt about Angelina, who he totally kissed and such! Hahaha. I think its explained in more depth in "This is Angelina" so you can check that out if you want. I think...not quite sure. Hahahah.
Oh, thanks so much for liking all the other characters. I tried to show a sense of what it was like for them all, they all had fought and lost many things. I think I went down the line too, with Alicia, with her scar, Lee and his drinking, Oliver with his temper. They're all completely different from how they'd been before and I'm glad that was able to be understood! :D
Phew, I was worried about the pacing of this but you liked it? Thanks so much! *Blush* I thought I'd made it a little too long and that it jumped a little. But this makes me really happy! :D
Thanks for stopping by and I hope to see you again for one of my stories! I'll hop on over to yours soon too and I'll most likely be stalking the forums!
Much love and thanks so much!